


Falling Into A New World

by VesselOfLucifer (FayTheGay)



Series: Falling [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Dark Gabriel (Supernatural), F/F, F/M, Female Dean Winchester, Female Gabriel (Supernatural), Female Sam Winchester, Gabriel Has The Mark of Cain, Gen, Human Lucifer (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Intersex Dean Winchester, Intersex Sam Winchester, Multi, TRIGGER WARNING AT START OF CHAPTERS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-06-03 04:51:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19456720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FayTheGay/pseuds/VesselOfLucifer
Summary: When Lucifer won, it was his victory. Time passed and he got his way. Then Death told him something he hadn't known and he had to change his plans. Or, alter them at least. When Sam seems to be in jeopardy, Gabriella does something she never thought she could do. And then she escalated.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So… this was supposed to be a one-shot follow-up closing for FITHOTM but sort of spread out into more. Almost every single chapter of this short story sequel has trigger warnings. There are a lot of dark themes in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Discussions of non-consensual sex.
> 
> Usual warnings of Gabriella’s insanity (not to be confused with the fun-loving type) and angelcest treated like incest.

.-~*~-.

_“Total annihilation has a way of sharpening people's minds.”_

~ Yuval Noah Harari

*~-.-~*

Gabriella shifted restlessly as The Mark burned at the base of her wings. A dark promise older than time.

Her safety net.

Oh yes. The Dark had tried. She had attempted to twist and warp Gabriella the moment that the lock touched her Spirit. But Gabriella was strong.

_You are truly lost._

“No.” She pushed away Life's lie. A false whisper. She was fine. She was okay. Lucifer was a threat to her life but she would be safe for as long as she had The Mark.

 _Safe._ She thought as she stared at the final two Spirits in this part of Hell.

Deanna, head raised on the table to watch Gabriella pace. Defiant even after hundreds of years.

 _Saved_ by Michelle and free from ever being demonized.

The little traitor bastard Brendiel who hadn’t stood a chance the moment she found out what he had told Deanna.

“You hearing voices again?” Deanna mocked from the table and Gabriella's lips curled in a cruel smile.

“Say that again, Deanna. Please. I’ve been ever-so-bored.”

“What’ll you do? Rip me apart again? Torture some illusionary Cass in front of me? You’ve done it all. You’re an old dog, Gabbie.”

“Shut. _Up._ ” Gabriella stomped over, slamming her fist into the center of the woman’s Spirit to relish in the bloodcurdling scream that accompanied it.

 _‘I want to show you something, Gabbie.’_ She jumped, recoiling away when Lucifer’s voice penetrated her senses.

_Safe._

Deanna started laughing, rolling in on herself the best she could in her restraints and grinning blood stained teeth at Gabriella.

“Is it Lucifer? He doesn’t love you, you know. You’re a tool to him.”

“If you don’t shut the fuck up I will being your sister here and fuck her while you watch!”

“Empty threat. You wouldn’t ever risk Sammy knowing what you’ve done to me. You need her to love you or you’re nothing but a psychopath in love with her brother.” This time, Gabriella ripped the other woman’s jaw off before spreading her wings to follow Lucifer’s connection.

She frowned at where she stood. It was Heaven.

The Garden.

But Lucifer had altered its appearances. Where The First Tree once stood, dead after Joshea's death, the entire thing had been carved and warped into what she could only describe as a throne built of plantlife.

Was he _still_ stuck on the imagery of nature being supreme?

Lucifer was standing in front of it, all of the remaining hundred angels standing around in silence.

“Lord Lucifer.” One said while Gabriella approached slowly, cloaking the Mark that threatened to give away her state to her brother.

_Safe._

“Gabbie.” He greeted warmly, pulling her into a tight embrace. Samantha’s Spirit coming out to nuzzle against her quiet one.

Quiet. Always quiet since she took The Mark.

Their secret.

Lucifer released her and she stepped back, gaze flicking to the throne again.

“What is this?”

“The future. Death visited me.”

Gabriella pressed her lips together, lifting her gaze to meet Lucifer’s. “Why?”

“He told me I need to repair this world before it collapses on itself. That him and Life would allow me to do as I needed to restart humanity.”

“What?” Her mouth fell open a bit and she stared at him, stomach lurching a bit as realization clawed its way into her gut.

“You’re going to bring them back.” She said slowly, some sort of fury threatening to escape her. After _all_ they had done Lucifer was going to _save them._

“Never as they were. Don’t look at me like that, Gabriella. I know what we did and I know everything you sacrificed to give me- _us_ this perfect world. Now it’s our turn. Mother is dead, we are what this world has. But we aren’t enough on our own. It’s dying, Gabbie. The world is _dying._ ”

“After _everything_ we’ve done you want to rewind. Become _God._ Let me count the irony in that, Luci.”

“ _Not_ God.” Lucifer hissed, eyes flashing with anger. “God allowed them to ruin Her world, Gabbie. We will never make that mistake. We know exactly what they are capable of and we will make it clear that it will never go that far.”

“Are there even any human Spirits left, Lucifer? Humanity has to be built by humans. We aren’t that.”

“Sam is.”

 _Sam is._ Gabriella's gaze flicked to Sam’s anxious Spirit. Displeasure coming off of it.

“Sam has no ovaries. She can’t reproduce and even if she could, who would be the father?”

“Though I’m reluctant, we can make her reproductive system viable.” _Sam._ “Brendiel is still possessing a man.”

“Brendiel is a drooling ball of madness.”

“Brendiel isn’t who we need. His meatsuit is. It’s Spirit still resides there.”

“What does Sam have to say about this?” The look on Lucifer’s face said enough, her teeth grinding together, wings flaring angrily behind her. “I want to talk to her.”

“She’s resting. We’ve had a long day.”

“ _Lucifer_ , I swear-”

“You’ll what, Gabbie? Kill me? We both know that’s a lie.”

Her blade appeared in hand and she stepped forward, pressing it against his throat. Materializing four other variants of herself to mimic the action.

She was the third from the left.

“You’re going too far, Luci. If I need to kill you to stop you from hurting her, I will. But I don’t want to.” It horrified her how sure she was that she _could._ How certain she was that if he made her, she _would_ kill him.

When had she crossed that line? When had she truly understood that she _did_ love Sam more than him.

That she _could_ kill him for her.

“You aren’t in charge, Gabbie.”

“And you aren’t God! The idea that you think you are is absolute horseshit! Humanity wasn’t born through rape and if you think for a second it would be any better then you didn’t pay attention to the worst corruptions in the fucking human race! Let her out! Now!”

There were a hundred angels around them that said nothing. Probably fifty that would turn on Lucifer given the chance.

The odds weren’t great. But Gabriella couldn’t die.

“Fine.” Lucifer relented after a long moment, Spirit stepping aside and allowing Samantha’s free reign of their body.

There wasn’t a moment of hesitation when Samantha threw herself at the correct Gabriella, pulling her against her chest with a shaky sob.

“Loki-”

“You _don’t_ have to do that. Sam, I swear I won’t let him. He won’t get to hurt you.”

 _‘Take Deanna.’_ Gabriella pushed into Lucifer’s mind. _'Do whatever the fuck you want with her but don’t you lay a hand on Sam’s body. If you have_ ever _loved her you’ll know I’m right.’_

_‘I forgot about your pet project. Sam won’t forgive you.’_

_'If she ever learns about Deanna, she won’t forgive me anyways. We’re monsters, Luce. But I_ know _you love her. If you hurt her, you’ll regret it.’_

 _‘Very well.’_ Lucifer’s Spirit moved back and Samantha stumbled a bit as he completely vacated her, Gabriella tugging Samantha’s face against her chest while she stared in awe at her big brother. Big, beautiful wings. Charm and peace radiating around his being as his apologetic eyes met hers.

Gabriella flew, taking Samantha down onto the Earth where they landed in a large dying field.

“He- he’s gone… Lo, I don’t-”

“Look at me,” She tangled her fingers in short hair, meeting the wild and confused gaze of her lifemate. “It’s okay. I told him to go. So we can talk.”

_‘Lying will bite you in the ass.’_

_‘Not if you cooperate.’_

_‘I_ don’t _lie.’_

_‘If you tell her the truth about Deanna, she will never let you back in. Would you really throw away everything you’ve built with her for pride?’_

“He didn’t _ask_.”

“He wasn’t thinking. Sammy, I don’t-”

“Don’t you _dare_ defend him, Lo. Don’t you do that.” Gabriella closed her eyes, looked away. “I can’t do that again.”

“How long?” She asked softly, Mark burning against the base of her wings. Anger and fury licking across her Spirit and awaking it for the first time in years. “How long has he had you locked down?”

“I don’t know.” She admitted softly, making a frustrated noise before backing off. “I’ve been dreaming. We were hunting.” Sam said, “Then Death was looking at me- us. Telling us we needed to return humanity or the world would die.” She dropped to the ground, touching the dying grass. “When did the Earth start dying, Lo?”

“When I killed the last living demon.”

“When you killed Cain.”

“Yes. When I killed him. I didn’t _know_. I didn’t want this, Sam. I _didn’t_.”

Except she had. To some extent, she’d _wanted_ all of this. There was a point where it stopped being about Lucifer. About what _he_ wanted to do _for_ the world and what _she_ wanted to do _to_ the world.

When had she fallen so far off track?

“I’ll fix this.”

“Lo-”

“I’ll fix this. I’ll fix this and… I’ll keep you safe. I will. I swear. I’ve gone too far and I need to stop. I need to be… I _have_ to be stopped. _We_ have to be stopped.”

“Don’t,” Sam grabbed her arm as she spread her wings out. “Loki, _don’t_. He’ll tear you apart if he realizes what you want. He’ll _destroy_ you.”

She blinked, shaking her head and smiling grimly. “If anything could destroy me, it would be The Dark. Do you want to know how far I’ve fallen apart, Sammy? Just how _broken_ I am? Even the most corrupt being in existence can’t damage me more than I’ve damaged myself. Take this.” She caught the other woman’s hand in hers, pressed a stone into her palm. “It’s a Spiritstone. It’ll bring Deanna to you. Hide and _use_ it. Get her to safety before I do something that hurts you both again.”

“Wait- Deanna’s dead. I thought-”

“I lied to you. Lucifer let you believe the lie because the truth is that I _relished_ in tearing your sister apart. I’ve done it for _years_ because I can. Because no matter how much I hurt her, she will never turn. Michelle _blessed_ her before she died. You love monsters, Samantha.”

“Then what does that make me?” The once-Hunter asked quietly, staring at her with something akin to betrayal.

“I guess it depends on what you do now that you know.” Gabriella smiled grimly, closing her eyes. “I’m going to stop him before he hurts either of you, though. Bye, Sammy.”

In a single flap of her wings she was in flight. Finding anything with opposable thumbs in the modern times was easier than breathing and she knew not to go for Lucifer immediately.

Not when she could have help.

“Gabriella,” The angel greeted her with an angel blade to her throat and Gabriella grinned, all teeth.

“Hello, Ariah. It’s been a long time, baby sister.”

“How did you find us?” She demanded and Gabriella snorted, looking at the angels that had joined their sister’s side. A long abandoned Bunker in the maw of what had once been Kansas. Hidden from the detection of even Archangels.

Of course she knew where it was.

“I never lost you after Michelle banished you to the Earth, you arrogant little worm.” Snapping her fingers, she sent the hiding once-Lucifer-loyalists flying into the wall beneath the entrance of the Bunker. “You didn’t come to Lucifer’s aide after he won. Tell me why.”

“We didn’t want him to win.” The right angel spat at her, undeterred. “Michelle was meant to win that battle until you put your nose where-”

“Let’s agree to disagree.” She flicked her wrist, removing their voices. “You still have Spirits in your bodies. Two males and a female.”

“What of the humans?”

“They might be the last hope for humanity. I’m about to do something, kiddies. Figure it out. Figure _them_ out. They might be the new world’s Ada and Steve.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’m about to do something that will change everything.” She dropped them, watching them while they shifted uncomfortably, healing damage to their Vessels and glaring up at her.

“You’re going to turn. I don’t believe you.”

“Believe me, don’t, I don’t give a damn. Keep those bodies alive or this world will end.” Then she was in Hell, dropping herself between Deanna and Lucifer where he was standing a few feet away.

“Gabriella?”

“Sorry, Luce. Deanna’s off limits.”

“Oh, that’s gold.” Deanna coughed from behind her and Gabriella spread her wings. Ignoring Deanna’s laughter.

“What are you going to do, Gabbie? Kill me?”

“I don’t know.” But the Mark was burning. Tearing at her Spirit. Pushing anger and hate into her veins for the first time ever.

For the first time in her long life, when she looked at Lucifer, she didn’t see him as a forbidden desire. A man she loved and wanted. What she saw was the man that had taken everything from her and _still_ asked for more.

The man that had broken Loki and crushed her into dust. Left her a broken shell of what she had become.

 _Hate. Anger. Kill. Kill._ _Kill!_

“You wouldn’t try, Gabbie. Not now. Not after all we’ve been through.”

“Sam knows the truth about Deanna. About what I did to her. About what _you_ knew. She’ll never let you back in.”

“You wouldn’t have-”

“When you put her in _danger_ , Lucifer? When you threatened her freedom? Yes. Yes I _would_. I would sacrifice everything to protect that woman.”

“You don’t get to play the hero, Gabbie.”

“I’m not a hero. I’m a monster. And so are you.” Her manifestation appeared behind him and Lucifer took flight, shooting through the surface of the Earth as she tore after him. Catching him easy. _Fast_. Always fast. She caught him by his ankle and shoved him into the ground, the ground spitting up violently around them as they crashed into it, her older brother driving his blade through her heart without a second thought as she crashed down on top of him.

Silence fell like a blanket over the both of them, her gaze flicking downwards to the metal protruding from her heart.

Slowly victory warped into confusion that warped to horror. “You didn’t.”

“I did.” She said quietly, wrapping her fingers around the hilt and yanking the blade from her own chest.

_Kill. Kill. Kill!_

“I knew you could do this. I knew that you _would_ do this,” She said the second part quieter when she pressed the same blade against Lucifer’s heart. Brendiel’s stolen body trickling blood from a fresh wound, her eyes flashing with her Spirit that was rallying with the words building in her heart. The pulsing of the Mark not enough to override her own thoughts. Her own emotions. Because she was power and she was _strength_. But most importantly, she wasn’t _sane_. Leaning down, she pressed her lips to Lucifer’s. Unwelcome. Unwarranted. “I knew all of the things that you tried so hard to hide. Because you’re right. You don’t lie. But you don’t always tell the whole truth,” She shifted her wings forward, used their weight to push his into dirt and roots thicker than the oldest tree. A diverse network of nature and plantlife that no human could ever truly grasp. The thing he had once fought to save. “And you stopped telling me you loved me. You stopped loving me because I loved you more than you could ever love me back. And yeah, it’s fucked up. I’m a _vile_ woman but I own up to it. All I wanted from you was for you to give a damn!”

“I do love you, Gabbie.”

“But not all of me. You still look at me like I’m a traitor. Like I stole the one thing from you that Mother gave you. But newsflash, I _didn’t_. Life gave her to me and I broke her! So, Luce. You owe me.”

“What do you want from me?”

“New lives.” She said quietly, drawing on the strength of her Spirit fueled by The Mark and plunging it through Lucifer’s. There was a violent screech as she cut through his Spirit, breaking it apart and weakening it significantly. As his once powerful Archangel Spirit was weakened and reduced until it was no stronger than a human.

“What have you _done_ , Gabbie!” He managed, after she caught him around his waist, dragging him back to the Earth’s surface to discard him in some softer grass.

“Life was wrong. I can’t kill you. And I can’t die now.” She wrapped her wings around herself, staring at him while he shoved himself into a sitting position, face pale from horror. “But you can and will. And you will go on and you will _survive_.”

“This isn’t life.”

“It’s close enough. I don’t give a fuck what you do with it. You’re alive.”

“And what will you do? Leave me here? I won’t survive like this!”

“Well, like you said. The world’s dying. There are what? Five humans? Six if we include you? Looks like I accidentally shredded Brendy's meatshield. Seens like you have some work ahead of you. Assuming Sam or anyone else that hates you doesn’t kill you on sight. Might think about learning to lie.” She caught him by the front of his shirt and brought him to his feet, spinning him around to slice through still present wings like butter.

Lucifer wailed and she shut her eyes, basking in the joy it ignited in her Spirit. The excited movements of her Spirit within her body.

“You can’t-”

“It is _done_.” She caught his wrist and spread her wings, flying to that same Bunker where she abandoned him unconscious on a bed.

“What is this?” Ariah demanded when she landed in the main room.

“Your chance to return. Heaven is yours, Ariah. No more death to humans. Revitalize the angel population.”

“What’s the catch?”

“Anonymity. These three humans are free and they will not be told who is asleep in the bed. If he tells them, it’s his choice. But it is _not_ their information to have.”

“What about you?”

“Hell and its Spirits are mine. Not yours. Not anyone else’s. I get to do whatever _I_ want with them and I’ll leave Heaven to do whatever it wants. We don’t intersect. We don’t cross paths.”

“What about the humans?”

“Don’t slaughter them but do whatever you want. Become Gods for all I care. Samantha Winchester’s Spirit is _mine_ , though. Lucifer’s Spirit is _mine_.”

“And her sister?”

“Mine too. No buts. You get the rest of the damned human race, whatever that means in this day and age. They’re mine.”

“Okay.” Ariah agreed quickly, wise in not angering her. After all. There were other angels she could bargain with. “Thank you, Gabriella.”

“They know _nothing_ of him.” Gabriella warned one final time before returning to Hell.

Deanna was gone.

Gabriella would spend the next twenty years in Hell debating whether or not she’d made the right choices.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I don’t think this should be particularly shocking but since this chapter contains the last handful of humanity there’s a lot of discussion about the necessity of the continuation of the human race, I won’t label it as dub con but there’s a lot of conversations between characters about the necessity of saving the human race through reproduction. Whether the parties speaking are particularly inclined to or not.

Samantha held her stomach as it growled violently, avoiding the glaring gaze of her sister.

“We need food.” Deanna said quietly, turning her head and resting it against the rock that was acting as her pillow, eyes closing. She couldn’t walk. Mostly paralyzed from the waist down.

“What do you expect me to do?” Sam scowled, staring at the empty landscape around her. From what she’d gathered Loki had left her somewhere in the Midwest. But it was dying. The world was _dying_. Loki hadn’t told her. _Lucifer_ hadn’t told her. They’d _betrayed_ her. “There’s nothing around here, Deanna.”

“We’ll die.”

“What do you expect me to do!” Sam grabbed a small rock off the ground, flung it at her sister’s side. Deanna blinked, turned her head to glare at Sam again.

“You said ‘yes’. You let the Earth die.”

“I didn’t say ‘yes’ until after you _died_ , Deanna! You don’t get to blame me.” Samantha rubbed her eyes, pulled at her hair. “We can’t do this.”

“Do you know how long it’s been, Sam?”

“No.”

“I’ve been in Hell since the day I died.”

The second time. Because the first time they’d brought her back. Given her the rest of her life on her own. For whatever that had been worth in the end. But Sam had been with Lucifer when Deanna’s Spirit was carried to Heaven. Which meant that Loki had taken her afterwards.

At least a thousand years. How long was that in Hell time?

Did she really want to try that math?

“I’m going to find something to eat. Here,” She tossed the flask of water to her sister, watching the other woman barely catch it in her hands. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

Deanna said nothing when Sam got to her feet, making her way East. She walked for probably an hour, the summer sun beating down on her violently until she spotted something in the distance that almost made her cry.

 _A person_. She didn’t know if it was an angel or some stray impossible surviving human but it was a _person_.

Maybe they’d kill her and she wouldn’t have to live to disappoint her sister again. It was awkward, walking across the empty landscape to meet with each other. Towards the other figure who she decided was female. More certain as they came into view of each other.

Then she recognized her.

It had been a very long time since she saw any of the angels from her time as a human. From what Lucifer had known, Michelle had executed the traitor angels that started the Apocalypse. Which meant Michelle had lied.

But there was still enough of Lucifer’s years of presence burning in her veins that she could see that only one Spirit resided in that body. Walking rather than flying indicated _human_.

“Samantha Winchester.” The woman greeted her with a certain level of unfamiliarity. Because they had never met. Not personally. But Vessels saw through their angel’s eyes. “Are you possessed?”

“No.” She answered, swallowing. “Are you?” Even though she knew the answer, asking meant she was giving the illusion that she was more human than she really was.

“No.” The woman said quietly, looking at the ground then back at her. “For whatever that means.”

“Same.” Sam grimaced. “My sister-”

“Come to the Bunker with me. Alex nearly has a car running.” Sam blinked, frowning.

“A car? We- he destroyed everything made by humans.”

“Not this place. Our angels hid here when she died. Locked us away until today when we opened our eyes.”

“How many of you?”

“Three men and me.” If Sam was to guess, this woman wasn’t quite in an opportune age rage for reproduction. Sam was infertile unless Lucifer had done what he’d planned. For the same reason Deanna was likely infertile. Unless she was wrong, there was a _very_ good chance that the human race was doomed to die.

She wondered if Loki knew.

If she did, she probably didn’t give a damn.

 _I fucking hate that I love you. I hope you know that, Lo. What you did to her- the state you_ left _her in. I’m never going to fucking forgive you for this._

They finally stopped at a nearly hidden patch of dry dirt, a large metal door just barely visible at their feet.

“What’s your name?” Sam realized she hadn’t asked. God when was the last time she’d spoken to another person?

“Abigail.” The woman answered with a smile before twisting the handle around and pulling it up to reveal a ladder. “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ve been through hell over the last… however long it’s been.”

At least a thousand years. Her eyes closed for a moment as she tried to steady her thoughts. It had been so good when Lucifer first began, when did it all go wrong? When did that world he’d created turn into _this_?

Why hadn’t he _told_ her?

Those were the thoughts running through her head when she carefully climbed down the metal ladder after the older woman. They came down in a small metal room that wasn’t the most spacious but spacious enough for them to have a bit of breathing room between them.

“Good thing I’m not claustrophobic.” Sam laughed sharply, shaking her head. Abigail smiled in return before turning the handle on the large metal door to her right. It clanked loudly before popping open to reveal another hallway with a much smaller metal door at the end.

“They were thorough.” Abigail explained as she headed through, “There is another entrance but it’s covered in too much dirt for us to open. It’s a miracle we were able to get that one open.”

“And how will we get a car out?”

“The garage door still opens. Just not from the outside.” The woman explained, pushing open the next metal door to reveal just that.

A garage.

It was small and sturdy and by some impossible miracle, lit up by bright lights that showed off a large assortment of classic cars that Deanna would likely love to see.

_Paralyzed._

Like that would stop her.

A somewhat feminine man stepped out from behind one of the newer vehicles, wiping oil and sweat from his face with a broad grin. “You found another?”

“I told you she came in a dream last night. You thought I’d lost my mind. Only one that believed me for a second was Luke.”

“Luke’s been possessed since the fourth century. It’s a wonder he speaks English.” The man countered. “My name’s Alex, by the way. And if all of Abigail’s intel is right, you’ll be driving this baby to find your traveling companion.”

With a bit of a dramatic flourish Alex pulled open the door to the car behind him, turning the key in the ignition. It sputtered and hissed before roaring to life.

“Holy shit.”

“I _am_ a magician!” Laughing, Alex kicked the wheel before half hugging the door. “I knew you had it in you. Let’s get that sister of yours.”

.-~*~-.

Deanna was the happiest she’d been since her resurrection when Alex drove them back. The two chatted gleefully back and forth the whole trip and when they returned to the Bunker they were taken to the kitchen where they were fed a meal consisting of only fruits and vegetables.

Later they were shown to one of the lower levels that was a complete mess of plantlife, sigilwork lining the walls that reminded her of her life as a Hunter. Marks of Gaea and other harvest deities. Their magic surviving through everything even when Loki had murdered them all.

While the whole Bunker wasn’t completely wheelchair friendly, the top floors mostly were which gave Deanna free reign to the more vital areas with the wheelchair that they had found in the medical room.

Whatever this place was, it was warded to hell and back, self-sustaining to a point where she had to wonder.

Where had the people that built it gone?

It was three days before she met Lucas.

Approximately forty seconds before she was pinned to a wall with a hand in her mouth to keep her from shouting.

“Sam-”

She kicked him. _Hard._ She aimed straight for the groin, recognizing the last Vessel of the angel Brendiel immediately.

And for once, he was thrown off guard, stumbling back to grab for his crotch while Sam grabbed the first thing in range, slamming the heavy book into the side of his skull.

“You selfish! Worthless piece of shit! You,” She kicked him in the chest and he fell back, trying to grab for her foot as it came down towards his stomach again, “worthless,” her foot collided again, “piece of,” and again, this time Lucifer just barely catching her ankle to pull her off her feet, sending her falling back, “shit!” Her head hit against the leg of the table behind her and she blinked back black spots as he struggled upright, Samantha didn’t give him the chance as she climbed on him to dig her fingers into his throat. “You tried to _use_ me! You didn’t ask! You didn’t tell-”

“Please-” he clawed uselessly at her hands, the body he was inhabiting wasn’t her. It wasn’t strong or capable. It was just another person and she was still on the backend of whatever possession had done to her entire being. Most of them were.

But Lucifer was an Archangel.

Or he had been.

Her fingers went slack and she pushed off of him, standing up and putting a foot on his chest.

“You’re human.”

“Gabbie.” He coughed, spit out some blood on the study floor.

“Lo used The Mark.” Sam said quietly. “You tried to kill her, didn’t you?”

“She didn’t… Sam, please-”

“It should’ve been her. I should’ve killed her then killed us. Saved the world from your egos. I was _wrong._ ”

Sam didn’t see Lucifer again for another three weeks and he’d lied to the others when they found him later that day. Told them he fell down a flight of stairs.

No one believed him and the looks she received said they knew who did it. She wondered if they suspected why.

_Beggars can’t be choosers. We’re probably the last of humanity._

When Deanna met him, Sam wasn’t shocked that she was corned in her room.

“Did you know?” The first thing her sister had said to her since they got there. Because of course it was.

“Lo turned him human. What better justice than turning him into the thing he despises.”

Deanna watched her for a long, quiet moment. “You hate him.”

“I love them both. But I want to burn her alive in holy fire. Strangle him until he’s blue in the face. Then save them both.”

“What changed?” Deanna asked for the first time and Sam’s mouth twisted in a cruel imitation of a smile.

“Loki killed the last living demon. Cain. The world started dying. Then a month or so ago… Death summoned us- him. Told Lucifer he needed to bring back the human race or everything would die.”

“He wanted to use me. That was why he visited.” Deanna said slowly, understanding dawning on her expression. “You were his first choice.”

“Loki saved me. He never told me what his plan was. He… well, he wanted me to be the new Ada.”

“But- I mean, we can’t…”

“Tell me, Deanna. Do you feel like you’re on hormones? Because I sure as shit don’t. I thought that was going to be a problem but I think we may very well be biological women now.”

“Gross.” Deanna scrunched her nose and Sam knew why. Because she was trying hard not to consider the same horrors that would come with being a woman.

Or a complete woman?

Whatever.

“So, we’re the last hope for humanity, huh? Two intersex Hunters and a trans dude who never finished surgery.”

“Wait… Alex?”

“Oh yeah. I caught him in the bathroom shower. He told me he was going to go through with a couple other surgeries but said yes before his date.”

Sam closed her eyes. Of course he had. And of course it should have been a good thing.

Except it meant there were two men in the world that could reproduce. In theory. Will was awkward and quiet but Sam could tell he had a crush on Deanna. His heart eyes adorable if Deanna hadn’t already made her lack of interest clear in one of the most assholey ways ever.

Which left Lucifer. Sam would _never_ let him touch another woman as long as she was alive. Not that she thought he would.

Because at the end of the day, they were humans.

“I want to hate you, Sammy. You killed me. And your girlfriend… let’s just say she was creative. But truth is, you didn’t break before me. I’ve thought about it and while you shouldn’t have stabbed me- you had good reason for it. I fucked up.”

“So did I.” Sam said quietly.

“You don’t have to forgive him.”

“I just have to fuck him. Save the human race.” Sam scoffed, shook her head. “Somehow it’s worse. He was going to use me for exactly this. Only difference would’ve been my ability to say no. The other man’s ability to say it. Now it’s him.”

“You know Alex will do it. He’s too good not to. He’s gonna be bent on saving humanity.”

Lucifer wasn’t stupid. He knew what they needed. “You haven’t spoken to me since we got here, Deanna. Now you’re telling me I very well might have to screw him because the human race is in jeopardy.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. Not for killing you. I’ve had a _very_ long time to think about that decision and I regret _nothing_ because you risked the planet.”

“She wasn’t going to kill her!” Deanna glared at her, “Michelle didn’t want to kill her brother, damn it! I never crossed that line. _Never_. Do you think for a second that someone that was supposed to be my god damned mirror or whatever would be able to? Michelle wasn’t going to kill him. She was going to do exactly what happened to him now. Make him _human_.”

“And if you were wrong?”

“I wasn’t. You know I wasn’t.”

“We weren’t supposed to say yes, Deanna. We promised we wouldn’t. But you did it. And why? Because she promised you that she wouldn’t hurt us?”

“Do I need to remind you the irony of promises _not to hurt_.”

“Fuck you.” Sam glared, “He _brought you back_! He gave you the rest of your God damned life and you threw it away to a siren!”

“And Gabriella spent a thousand God damned years ripping me apart. There’s no way you _didn’t_ suspect something was seriously off.”

“I thought she’d destroyed you.” Sam admitted for the first time, the words feeling poisonous. “Lo ripped apart basically every Spirit in all of the afterlives. I knew better than to think she’d left you alone but… I didn’t think she’d kept you around.”

“And you still love her.”

“I fucking hate her. I hate them both.” Sam closed her eyes. “But yeah. I still love her. Hate me for the rest of my damned life for it. Because I will.”

“If he touches anyone else, Sam. I will kill him in his sleep.”

Sam didn’t open her eyes when she heard the wheelchair move out of the room.

She did when the door opened again.

“Go away, Luce.”

“I was right.” She jumped, sitting up to see Alex in the doorway. “How does the Devil become human?”

“His sister tears apart enough of Spirit that he’s virtually human.” It wasn’t worth lying. There wasn’t a _point_. They were the end of humanity. The last of it.

“I wondered.” Alex admitted. “When I was checking his ribs, I saw the cuts on his back.”

 _Scars_. What scars- _oh_.

She wanted to ask him if Lo had done it. But she also wanted to punch him if she saw him again.

“And if I saw the angel that spent the last… however long its been possessing me? I’d probably beat the shit out of him too. But your sister confirmed it. Warned me to, and I quote, ‘stay the fuck away from _Luke_. He’s dangerous.’ I was going to ask.”

“And I confirmed it.” Sighing, she dropped back down on the bed. Rubbing her eyes. “He’s not going to hurt anyone. Except maybe me. No matter how he feels about humanity, he doesn’t want the world to die and if we die, it’s done.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means the world is dying. The lack of human Spirits did who knows what to whatever but Death told Luce he needed to fix it or everything would die. Funnily enough, we’re the last hope for all of Creation.”

“Ragtag team of ex-Vessels versus the world.” If that didn’t summarize things, she didn’t know what did. “Guess there’s merits to being at least partially woman.” Alex made a face, “At least Will’s cute.”

“He is adorable, isn’t he?” Sam sighed, shaking her head. Will wasn’t an option for her. She knew he wasn’t. Lucifer would kill him if she tried and she wasn’t remotely interested in him.

She loved Lucifer. So why was it so hard to put aside her anger in the face of helping save humanity?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally forgot I was supposed to post this so here it is, if not a bit late.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings!:   
> Discussions of suicide.   
> References to dubious consent.   
> Objectification of a person.   
> Abusive relationship.   
> Um… I don’t even know what other warnings might go with this.  
> Near death experiences brought on by drowning.
> 
> Continued discussions of the fate of the human race and the need to continue it no matter what the people may want.

It was another week before she found herself outside Lucifer’s room, hand raised to knock on the door. Then she second guessed herself and simply pushed it open.

They didn’t have privacy. Not from each other. Not even if she wanted to think otherwise.

Lucifer was in bed, messy brown hair splayed in a hundred different directions with his face plastered against his pillow, a soft looking black blanket was kicked at his feet revealing the fact that he was dressed in a pair of rag tag boxers she suspected Abigail had made out of old clothes lying around.

Those weren’t what caught her attention though, nor was the compromising position. Her focus was completely rested on the large patch of bandages wrapped around his torso, two bloody spots seeping through the white material.

She still remembered them. Clear as day. A heavy, comfortable, freeing weight on her back. Their wings. _His wings_.

She touched his ankle, shook him slightly. He muttered against the pillow before it seemed to register with him and he shot upright, twisting around with a sharp inhalation of breath as he grabbed blindly for his Archangel blade.

Green eyes were wide as they stared at her and she cursed herself as she held her hands up, taking a step back. “It’s me. Luce, it’s me.”

“I’m sorry.” He lowered his arms, running his fingers through his mess of hair and grimacing. “I… am still not used to sleep.” He shifted, flinching and closing his eyes. “Fuck.”

“Let me see your back.”

“I’m fine.”

Ignoring his attempted protests, she climbed into the bed next to him, gripping his shoulder and pulling insistently until he gave in and let her turn him. The bandages had fresh blood darkening them, spreading across the cloth. “She cut them off, didn’t she.” Not a question. A statement of fact. A certainty.

“Probably has them mounted to her throne.” He huffed, shaking his head. “Fucking _traitor_.”

“You absolutely earned this, Luce.” She bit out irritably, “Do you have more bandages?”

“No. That boy- what’s his name? Alex? He’s been replacing them. The wounds won’t heal because I can’t just sit around and do nothing. I keep reopening them.”

“You need to let them heal. We can’t bandage them forever. Resources are-”

“Then stop trying to save me.” She shut her mouth at that, staring at the back of his head where she was half hooked behind him to mess with the bandages.

“What?”

“You know _exactly_ what I said. Stop trying to save me. I’m going to die here, Sam. One way or another, I will die. Either they will kill me because my secret is not a secret or I will eventually kill myself.”

“What the- Hell no!”

Lucifer gave her a withering glare, “Why should I keep living, Sam? The one person in this place that liked me is concerned for the fate of the last piece of humanity. As he should be.”

“He isn’t the only one that wants you to be here.”

“You hate me, Sam. And you’re right to do so.”

She grabbed him by his shoulder and pulled him around so that they were eye to eye, “You aren’t _allowed_ to be suicidal, Luce. Not when you’re the last of two human males on this planet.”

“Oh, is that all I am to you?”

“It’s all I was to you!” She snapped, shoving away from him and the bed to glare down at him. “You don’t _get_ to take the fucking high ground here! You were going to _use_ me to ‘continue the human race’. You didn’t ask me what I wanted, my _thoughts_ in the matter. You wanted to use me for the same God damned thing!”

“That was different-”

“How? _How_ was it different? Because you were declaring yourself God? Because it was _our_ body? Because, just like Ada and Steve, the parents of a new humanity don’t _get_ a choice on who they fuck? No. You don’t get to take that high ground because it’s a God damned joke. Lo was _right_ in what she did. Making you human? Throwing you into this hellpit last grab at humanity is your karma biting you in the ass.”

“I didn’t build this new world by myself. You were just as responsible as me.” Lucifer countered, glaring at her without any malice. Just tiredness. Irritability.

“And I’m going to accept my punishment. Because it’s a God damned joke.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You don’t get to die because Lo would slaughter the last of humanity before ever letting me save it. Unless it was with you.”

She found a sort of comfort in the confusion on the Devil’s face. Because it confirmed for her that he hadn’t been deviously planning this from the start.

“You want me to help you mother the last of the human race.”

“You gave me the womb, Luce. I can’t use the God Damned thing because the woman I love is batshit insane.”

“No.”

“Yes.” Sam moved forward then, climbing into his lap and hooking her fingers through his hair. There was a certain glee with the action, the slight flinch as nails scraped against his scalp, body moving away from the contact even as he returned the kiss when she yanked him forward into a desperate and needy collision of tongue and teeth.

This was different.

There was no self-satisfied and possibly narcissistic attraction when he got with the program, dragging his fingers down along her back to trace against the spots on her back that had once housed his strong and powerful wings. The area was still soft and tender and she made a broken noise as she tore away from his mouth, pressing her face into his shoulder.

“No.”

“Yes.” He dug his fingers in and she squeezed her eyes shut, back arching away from the contact as tears burned in her eyes. “Leaving your skin was the worst decision I ever made.” He murmured in her ear as she reached behind him, touching at the warm and bloody bandages lining his back. Covering the skin he was almost kneading at now on her back. “I love you, Sam.”

“You love yourself. Your vision. Your dream.”

“My vision, my dream, who I _was_ is dead. I can’t love any of those things.”

“And you can’t love me because you’re so God damned selfish.”

“That’s exactly why you’re the only damned person in existence I can love,” She refused to yield when he released her back, carding his fingers through her hair to drag her face up from his shoulder. She resisted when they were nose to nose, eye to eye.

“I’m not you.”

“We were one, babe. For one thousand five hundred and twenty six years I was you and you were me. We saved the world together.”

“We didn’t save the world! We _destroyed_ it! We aren’t the damned _heroes_ anymore.”

“Maybe things went bad towards the end. I won’t say they didn’t. But, we _did_ save the world.” She groaned when he crushed their mouths together. Finally surrendering to her worst instincts when he dragged her out of her clothes.

.-~*~-.

She felt dirty when she left him in the bed, dragging her shirt and jeans on.

“Where are you going?”

“To find Alex. Your back is still bleeding, Luce. I should’ve made you deal with that first.”

“I’m not dying.”

Ignoring him, she made her way out the door and down the hallway to pit stop in the bathroom before finding her way to the kitchen. It was night and most everyone tended to sleep on a normal schedule.

By her luck, Alex didn’t. Alex had major insomnia and slept maybe two or three hours whenever he knew he was tired. And God help the person stupid enough to interrupt him when he did get those hours.

Alex was in the kitchen, singing Britney Spears _3_ and dancing around while he cooked.

Sam cleared her throat to announce her presence and he paused in his steps, pointing a spatula at her. “He needs new bandages, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah.” She admitted, not denying it. Not when she could feel the possessive marks lining her skin. A blatant _you’re mine_ without him actually saying the words. Though he had. Many times over. And it was a damned declaration nearly as flashy as Loki could do. She suspected he’d done it to get a rise out of Deanna but also another stupid declaration of ownership. “I got a glimpse. I’ve seen some bad injuries in my life but nothing like that.”

“I told him it’s because he doesn’t know how to hold still but I’ve never treated someone that had their wings chopped off their back.”

_Archangel blades hurt Archangels. What would they do to a human?_

What even were the wings of an Archangel if they were still attached to a human body? “I’m guessing you don’t know anything about spellwork?”

“Not at all.” Alex answered apologetically while he moved some fried tomatoes and peppers onto a plate. “Do you think it could fix him?”

“Maybe. There’s only ten thousand spellbooks here.”

“Will has been sorting the library. He might know where to start.” A glance at the wall told her it was three am. Too early to bother Will yet. “I’ll go patch Luke up.”

“It’s not a secret who he is anymore. You don’t have to use his alias.”

“I don’t, but I’m going to unless he asks me to stop. Who cares who we were before? We’re the last people on the Earth. He’s human now. Who cares who and what he was before? The world is lacking in options at the moment.”

Sam pressed her lips together before nodding. “Alright. I’m going to go dig through the library for a bit. See if I can’t find anything that might help.”

“As you do,” Alex nodded at her before he grabbed his plate and made his way out of the kitchen. Before she could talk herself out of it, she made her way towards the garage, pushing the open button then climbing onto the old motorcycle that Alex had somehow managed to get working. She kicked it to life and threw it into drive, tearing out into the warm night air, the full moon barreling down on her like a promise as she cut through the path that they’d began cutting through the grass with their cars, kicking up dirt and rocks as the wind cut across her hair and face. Clothes whipping around violently around her. As she came up to the lake she slowed down, kicking the kickstand out as she climbed off.

“Loki.” She breathed out, “Loki, get your fucking ass down here. We need to _talk_.” She waited a good five minutes. Shouting and yelling until her throat was raw.

“Romantic venue.” She spun around, glaring at the back of Loki’s head. Large wings arched behind her in a damned display that Sam hated to be endeared by. “Gotta say, little hurt by the insults.”

“What did you _do_?” She flicked her gaze to the ground, watched her feet when Loki turned around. 

“Someone had some fun.” There was a bitterness to the words and she flicked her gaze up to meet angry golden ones. “Should I ask who it was?”

“Would you kill him if I told you the answer?”

“Let’s go with no.”

“It was with Luce,” Sam answered slowly. “You gonna go finish the job now? End the world just like that?”

“You forgave him.”

“Do I have a _choice_? There are two people with dicks in that damned place. Will and Luce. And we both know what happens if we make any other choice!”

“Three males.”

“A trans male who never went through bottom surgery -who even if he _had_ would be completely infertile-, Luce, and Will. Abigail is menopausal. Luce altered me and Deanna to confirm our damned status as _women_. If I touch anyone else you and him will rip them apart.”

“Saving humanity really is going to be a nightmare.” Loki sighed dramatically, rubbing her eyes. “I’ll finish your boy’s transition. Hundred and ten percent. Fully functional. I’m half tempted to rewrite the damned human genome so these bullshit screwups with Spirits getting shoved in the wrong bodies with the wrong chromosomes end. Let the Spirit deal with inaccuracies.”

“You’re serious?”

“Absolutely.” Loki stepped forward until they were nearly touching, grabbed her by the front of her shirt and tugged her down to examine the marks on her neck. “Possessive dick.”

“Like you’re one to talk.”

“You _are_ mine,” Her eyes flashed white for a moment and she pulled her so they were eye-to-eye. “ _Mine_. Not _his_.”

“Well you’re a damned Archangel wearing the _Mark_ , Lo. You don’t _get me_. I’m one of _six_ left and I don’t have a choice in the matter.”

Quicker than she’d thought possible, she was off of her feet, submerged beneath the water. In the brief moment of confusion she’d made the awful mistake of inhaling sharply, sucking down a solid lungful of air. She fought against the invisible force holding her down, fruitless and pointless because she simply _couldn’t_.

 _Let me out. Lo, let me the fuck out!_ It took all of her willpower not to breathe, relying on every piece of residual oxygen in her lungs as she went slack in the water. Her heart beat violently against her ears. Eyes watering in the dirty lake water, she began to lose oxygen to her brain. Black spots danced across her vision, tears burning in her eyes.

So, this was how it ended. A lake in the middle of what had once been Missouri. Drowned by the woman she loved.

At least it wasn’t agonizing.

As consciousness slipped away from her, she realized she’d almost been expecting this.

.-~*~-.

When Sam came to, she was laying in the grass, the image of an annoyed Death dancing behind her eyelids.

She’d died. Loki had _killed_ her.

What. The. _Hell?_

“I know you’re angry.” She couldn’t really move when she flicked her gaze to the Archangel, body screaming in protest at the movements. “But I had to make a point.”

“ _What_ point?” She hissed, pushing upright and backing up into the grass.

“That you’re mine. He was allowed to have you. But then he stabbed me in the heart. Your fate, life. It’s all in my hands. So _remember_ that.”

“Are you fucking _kidding_ me?”

“No.” And Sam knew she was dead serious. Loki had basically declared herself God in place of Lucifer and something told her that hiding in the warding of the Bunker wouldn’t help her. Because Loki had already been there. “You’re mine now. Not his.”

“I’m not either of yours, psycho! Lo, I fucking love you but this isn’t going to work. I am not a piece of property!”

“You _are_ mine.” Loki snorted, rolling her eyes and getting to her feet. “You have _always_ been mine. Since the first moment we met. The second we touched.”

“I’m not a _possession_. You don’t get to dictate the rest of my life. If I want to fuck someone else, that’s _my_ choice to make. It isn’t yours!”

“It’s my choice,” Loki moved, dropping down in her lap and making her flinch away. “Because Life gave you to me.” She refused to move when Loki cupped her jaw, pressed their mouths together. “You are mine.” She said softly, tone almost pleading. Mood shifting. Her eyes closed when Loki kissed her again. “Sam, you’re everything for me. All I have. Tell me you love me.”

“I’m not yours.” Sam whispered against her mouth. “I’m my own person. I don’t _belong_ to you. To _anyone_. But I’m trying to do this in the only way it’ll work. I’m trying to respect the God forsaken boundaries that have existed since I agreed to help end the world even though I don’t really want to.”

“He can’t have you.”

“Yes, he can. Or you can kill me, I guess. I can’t stop you as you’ve proven already. But I don’t want to die. I want whatever I have left here.” Because she knew damn well Loki wasn’t going to let go of her Spirit. Whatever she had left on Earth, was the end of it. “Give me that and I’ll give you my death. Let me have my time on Earth.”

Loki shivered on top of her, pressed her face against Sam’s neck. “I don’t want to share you.”

“Only him. _Only_ Lucifer. I promise.” Even though she didn’t want to make that promise. That promise made her feel awful because she was signing herself away to the two people that were responsible for thousands of years of torture to her sister. She knew damn well if it was an option she’d want to experiment with Alex and Will.

“Fine.” Loki said, shoulders slumping in defeat. “Fine, Sam. _Only_ Lucifer. If you let anyone else touch you, I _will_ kill them.” Which didn’t make her feel any better. “And I’m going to end the older woman’s menopause.” Something that did make her feel better. Because as things were, there wasn’t a super broad genepool. Not with her and Deanna being the only women. Sisters at that. “The human race is going to need tweaking this time around.” Reasonable. She sounded reasonable now. The Archangel carefully climbed out of her lap, turning to look at the now rising sun. “What else do you guys need?”

“I need you to heal his back.”

“Okay.”

“How generous are you feeling?”

“Depends on the request.” A warning. _Tread lightly._

“Chickens. Cattle. We’re living off some magical farm in the basement but none of us really like soy.”

“I can do that.” Loki nodded slowly, “Tomorrow you will have cattle and chickens. Maybe sheep if I can find them. I’m also searching for more hiding angels. Heaven has been told that if they find any angels in Vessels, they need to leave them here.”

“That’s good to know.” Maybe there were others. The Bunker looked like it could house a couple hundred people. They wouldn’t need to start setting up outside homes for a while though Alex had expressed interest in setting up something simple on the surface. A cabin or something.

“Tell me you don’t hate me.” Loki’s voice was smaller now. Soft and afraid. Broken.

“Tell me you’re sorry.”

“I’m sorry.” Loki turned to look at her, eyes brimming with tears.

“I don’t hate you.” Sam admitted, moving forward to touch her face. Kissing her softly. “I love you.”

“I shouldn’t have killed you.” Loki admitted against her mouth, wings spreading wide behind her. “I love you, Sammy. So damned much.”

“I know.” And she couldn’t hate her for it in the end of it all. Not knowing the things she knew. Not when it wasn’t cut and dry.

Loki had lost her mind in every sense of the word. There was a lot of time where she genuinely didn’t know what she was saying or doing. All because of Lucifer. Of the one thing he had done to her that she had never been able to forgive him for. The thing that had _broken_ her.

“One more time, Sammy.” Loki murmured and kissed her again.

And who was she to refuse such a desperate question? Even when she was somewhat scared of the woman.

When she came back to the bunker the garage was closed and she had to go the long way in, climbing in through the grate and finding her way to the dining area where everyone was gathered eating lunch.

Lucifer didn’t say a word when she stepped through the doorway, but she could tell he wasn’t pleased.

“Where have you been?” Deanna asked her and she ignored the question, sitting down next to Lucifer. “Sam.”

“How are you doing, Will?”

“I-” His eyes widened and he opened then shut his mouth, biting his lip. “I’m okay. Did you go for a swim?”

“Yeah, I did.” She smiled reassuringly at the socially awkward man before looking at Alex. “How are you feeling?”

“ _Different_.” Alex answered carefully. “Are we going to talk about… or no?”

“I visited with the Archangel Gabriella.” Deanna scoffed and Lucifer crossed his arms over his chest. “Also known as the God, Loki. I convinced her to help us with the less pleasant parts of this situation. I’m sorry I didn’t get to ask you, Alex but… yeah, you are a hundred percent now. Fully functional. And, Luce. She healed the wounds on your back.” Pausing, she glanced at Abigail. “And… well, you aren’t menopausal anymore. For whatever that’s worth.”

An uncomfortable silence stretched over them like it tended to when they talked about the fate of humanity.

“Also,” She laughed a bit, rubbing the back of her neck. “We’ll have cattle and chickens in the morning. So, we’ll have some real food.”

“Can I talk to you?” Lucifer asked coolly.

“I promise you don’t want to have this conversation.” She retorted, looking at Deanna. “And neither do you. We’re going to drop it.”

“So, is this going to become the norm, Sam?” Deanna asked and she shook her head.

“This is a one-time deal. A gift from the God of the new fucking world. She isn’t coming back to Earth and we aren’t going to talk about what I did to get it. You are _both_ going to drop it.”

The look on Deanna’s face told her ‘fine’ but the glance at Lucifer she caught from the corner of her vision said ‘not in a million years’.

“Anything else interesting happen while you were out?” Alex asked awkwardly. “You know, besides the usual fields and your… swim?”

“I saw a bird.” She answered, thinking of large dark wings cocooning her. “But no. Not much.” _I also died but I’m going to leave that out of this conversation._ “Oh, and some strawberries. We might want to go back and grab them for the seeds, plant them in the garden.”

“Man, I love strawberries.” Alex chuckled, shaking his head. “Me and Deanna can head out and get them later.”

“We can?”

“Yes. We can. Make use of your brand new legs. Have some fun.” Alex confirmed and Deanna frowned at him but said nothing.

“So…” Will spoke up nervously, “Who likes lunch?”

“It’s great.” Sam smiled at him, ignoring the looks she was still getting from Lucifer. “Who made it?”

“I did. Alex helped.” The lunch conversation was awkward and uncomfortable as hell but between her and Alex, it never lapsed into silence and eventually Deanna and Alex left them at the table to go find the strawberries and Abigail pulled Will away.

Sam got up from the table before Lucifer could get his first word in.

“You went to her. What did she do to you?”

“Whatever she wanted. Drop it.”

“I will not drop it. You looked _scared_ , Sam. What did she do to you!” He grabbed her by her wrist and she spun around, glaring violently at him. Eye to eye. Because of course. Of course she was tall and of course the stolen Vessel of Brendiel was short. She shoved at his chest, angry.

“She killed me!”

Lucifer stared at her, “Why?”

“Because she _could_. Because she wanted to prove that I was hers. Because _you_ couldn’t deal with the fact that your sister had become a damned _Goddess_. This is all your damned fault, Lucifer and I don’t know why I forgave you!”

“Because-”

“If you say because we’re two parts of a whole I will fucking stab you in the throat.”

“It’s because you fell in love with me. You never said ‘yes’ because you forgave me. You hated me when you said ‘yes’. You never even forgave me. You chose to ignore it because Gabriella doesn’t give a damn about what I did to her. She doesn’t hold it against me.”

“You ruined the woman I love. You _destroyed_ her. And she killed me. She killed me because I fucked you. Because she wanted to prove that she was strong enough to do it. That she _could_ do it and some part of me wishes that it’d stayed like that. That I’d stayed dead. Because the deal I had to make to make her drop it is one that makes me sick to my stomach.”

“What did she want?”

“ _We_ have obligations to this world, Luce. I need to live to help the damned human race. She won’t let any other man touch me.”

“She agreed to that?”

“It was either that or she killed off the rest of humanity. I become a damned nun. Because she’s possessive and has lost her damned mind.”

Lucifer closed his eyes and took a step back. “I won’t do that to you.”

“We don’t have a _choice_ , Luce.”

“It’s rape.”

“You can say no. I can say no. I’m just willing to see the bigger picture. There’s not a lot of options, Luce.”

“I won’t.” He said, shaking his head. “That’s not a yes, Sam. I can’t do that. I _can’t_.”

“Then I guess I’m a nun.” Married to the new God. _Damn it._ “I’m here if you change your mind, Luce.”

“You signed away your sex life. And for what? Some casual amenities? Or was it because you knew this was how it would happen? You want to blame me. Because I’m the Devil. I’m evil. Except I didn’t make this choice. Yes, I made some questionable decisions when Death told me the world was dying but it was because I knew what your answer would be. It would be _this_. Sacrifice your own feelings over the matter for the greater good. You are doing that _right now_. But I won’t join you in the self-sacrifice because it will destroy you emotionally and I love you too much to do that.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, I do.” And he left her there.

They didn’t speak for three years.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> Discussions of objectification again.  
> Self-loathing.  
> Depression.  
> Sam is in a really bad spot right now.  
> Torture, involves the removal of teeth.  
> Angelcest treated like incest.  
> Unwilling relationship.

In the last three years, they had received four new Vessels and four children. Which had left them with ten adults.

Until Sam got drunk.

They didn’t do it a lot. Drinking nights were reserved for special events, a new pregnancy. A new Vessel impossibly being found. A breakthrough with some of the endless rooms in the lower parts of the Bunker. They had even celebrated when Idaho managed to catch them a horse from the back of their motorcycle. Lucifer had managed to break the horse without too much trouble and they’d called her Spot.

That night’s celebration had been because Will had decoded one of the books, finding the location of another Bunker. They suspected it might be the key to finding more people, maybe if this Bunker was empty that one wouldn’t be.

Getting drunk was something she generally avoided because she got grabby when she was drunk and she was lonely. Loki never answered prayers. Lucifer barely looked at her and she knew the risks of trying anything with anyone else.

 _Drunk_.

That was all she could think when she woke up the next morning to stare in horror at the body pinned to the wall, throat sliced cleanly and efficiently. It took her all too long to fully comprehend what she was seeing.

_Loki, bring him back. Fucking bring him back!_

Nothing. Just like every other damned time over the last three years. _Silence._

Except she was _clearly_ paying attention.

How was she supposed to explain this one?

She pulled the blanket over the top of her head and fought back the desire to lose it. She needed to keep it together. Stay calm. _Breathe_.

“Hey, Sam!” Deanna was knocking on the door and she felt her heart sink in her chest. “Will needs to get up! Anne’s in labor!”

Shaking her head, she pulled at her once again long hair. Fighting the desire to lose it. “Deanna… he can’t.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“I fucked up. Again.” The door slowly came open and Sam pulled the blanket off the top of her head, meeting Deanna’s green eyes from across the room.

“Where-” The question died in her throat when she caught sight of the body on the wall just inside the door. “Fuck.”

Sam waited for the angry berating. The insulting or the cruel words she’d grown accustomed to.

Deanna said nothing like that. Not a word. “Help me get him down.”

“I… I can’t.”

“It was her, wasn’t it?”

Sam said nothing, looking down at the bed.

“Lucifer warned them to stay away from you. That Gabriella wouldn’t be particularly forgiving if they put their hands on you. He knew damn well it was a risk.”

“But I-”

“You were drunk off your ass. Why do you think I’m pregnant?” Deanna gestured at her growing stomach with a scowl. “Alcohol and desperation are not a good combination for anyone and you haven’t been laid in what? Three years?”

Sam didn’t answer as she got to her feet to help her sister pull him down. It was awful work but not unfamiliar. It was something they’d both done.

“She warned me and… I don’t think I believed her. She doesn’t answer my prayers. It’s hard to believe a threat when someone has just disappeared off the face of the planet.”

“I’ve been pissed at you for a lot of crap, Sam.” Deanna admitted. “But, this wasn’t your fault. We all knew the risk.”

“Vengeful fucking Goddess.” Sam took most of the weight when they managed to get Will down, tears threatening the corner of her eyes.

“Hold him- just a sec,” Deanna disappeared completely and she was left with the dead weight of Will for longer than she’d wished. Then Deanna was supporting him again. “Blanket. Here.” Sam helped her sister carefully guide the body to the floor where Deanna had put some of her crappy spare sheets down. “You think she tortured him?”

“No. This wasn’t about making him suffer. This was about making her point to me. It’s bullshit. Will- fuck, he didn’t deserve this.” She pulled the comforters off the bed, using them to cover his body.

“Neither do you.” Deanna told her so quietly Sam wasn’t sure she was supposed to hear her. But she did. Forgiven. She was being forgiven in the only way Deanna ever would. No heart to heart. Just an offhand comment. It was years late but in the maw of a horrible event, she felt a major weight lift off her shoulders. “We need to tell the others.” She said at a significantly louder volume.

“You do it. I’ll get the stretcher from the infirmary.”

As it turned out, people _weren’t_ happy. Alex and Abigail understood and knew enough about what had happened but Danielle and Idaho were especially angry about it. They didn’t believe the story about Loki which was absolute bullshit considering they’d both been possessed by _angels_.

They wanted Sam punished but it wasn’t like they actually had any sort of law and order system. They relied on the information that they were the fate of the world to keep people in control.

So, they’d put her in the dungeon. Deanna liked to call it the sex dungeon. It had a bunch of warding in the center of the room enveloped by old storage shelves and locked from the outside. And now it had a bed.

For all intents and purposes, they had put her in prison for three months for “murder”. And maybe it was for the best. Alex brought her meals and she was taken to the bathroom when needed. It wasn’t like prison would’ve been back when the world wasn’t dying. No eye for an eye. Just timeout more or less. It was boring but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. She still had to help with the animals in the mornings since they didn’t want the pregnant women doing the strenuous labor -Deanna loved that- and neither Lino or Alex were particularly great with animals.

Lucifer practically _lived_ with the animals but he also was making a point of ignoring Sam’s existence.

At least until the door to the dungeon opened and she saw him descending the steps. She was reading an older language book that would’ve helped her with ancient Moabite if she was at all fluent in Ammonite.

When Lucifer was possessing her, she’d been fluent in all languages.

“What do you want?” Sam asked from where she was sitting in the cot that was her bed.

“May I sit?”

“Oh, so you’re talking to me now?” She refused to look up from the book.

“Sam-”

“Fuck off.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you are. Go, Luce before I tell the next religious nut to step foot in my vision who you actually are. See how long you go without being given your ‘righteous punishment’ then.”

“I’m _sorry_ , Sam. I was wrong. I never should’ve done that to you and I never should have blamed you for your decision to help make things easier for us.”

“You have _no idea_ what it cost me.”

“Sam-”

“I sold myself to you. To _her_. I don’t get my own life. I don’t get to consider what I might want in my future because yet again you _both_ own me. And what kind of fucked is that? The two people that were responsible for everything my sister went through and they’re the only god damned people _allowed_ to touch me!” _Property._ “I sold myself like I’m an object _to_ sell for the things we needed and there isn’t a day I don’t regret it! Except I _do_ because I’m _alone_. I’m sick of sacrificing myself, Luce. I’m so God damned _tired_.”

“You made your choice, Sam-”

“It wasn’t a _choice_ , Luce. You know what she can be like and you know damn well she would’ve done this either way. I'm not a person to either of you anymore, if I ever even was. And I am adult enough to admit that I fueled you both. I let it happen and we had a really long time to let that idea set in. Kind of hard not to when you are literally in control of my body. And it's impossible not to see where this is going. I am yours. Both of you. Whether I want it or not."

"It was never meant to be like this, Samantha."

"It was always going to end like this, Lucifer. You destroyed us both and then we destroyed the world together. Now she's going to destroy me and you and there's nothing anyone can do to stop her. She's won and I'm a damned consolation prize. If you think you're safe from that then you _really_ haven't paid attention."

“You think she still lusts after me. After all of this.”

“ _Gabriella,”_ The use of her name. Her Archangel name. The barrier between the woman she loved and the one she didn’t like to know. It rolled from her tongue like a bowling ball and received the expected response. A startled look. Confusion. Because Sam never called her that. She was Loki. Except, Sam knew better, Loki was dead. Long dead. Nothing but a shell. “She has loved you since the Dawn. You killed her but it changes _nothing._ Because you are the love of her life. And the way she feels for me will never come close to that. Hell, if you told her to give you the damned Mark and kill herself, she’d probably do it. Because Gabriella’s love is blind and endless devotion that I wish she still felt for me because then Will would still be alive instead of rotting in the damned cemetery.”

“I will get him back for you, Sam. I will talk to her.”

“Yeah, well. Good luck with that. She doesn’t answer prayers anymore.” Sam looked back at her book, eyes flicking to Lucifer’s hand when he touched her knee.

“Tell me you still love me.”

“We don’t lie to each other, do we? Might as well not start now.”

“I love you, Sam. Know that.”

“Get out.”

His hand left her leg and she didn’t look up when he moved away, she didn’t move until she heard the door clank shut.

Then she cried for the love she’d lost. The life she’d lost. The world she’d helped destroy. She cried until Alex came to give her dinner, yelled at him when he tried to console her because she couldn’t risk anyone touching her again.

The price wasn’t worth it.

.-~*~-.

“Eighteen,” Gabriella hummed, patting Castiel’s cheek. “I know, this must get _really_ boring, Cass. Really. It can’t be fun. But, what can I say? You’re the only Spirit left in Hell. Can’t just murder humans and I like the animals.”

“Rot in Hell.” Castiel spat in her face, blood and spit hitting her forehead and dripping down. Gabriella reached up and swiped the combination off her face. Reaching around, she threaded her fingers through the young angel’s hair and leaned in so they were eye-to-eye. Relishing in the flash of fear that crossed the angel’s expression.

“Already there, sis.” Gabriella kissed her on the cheek, “Now our lovely big brother’s prayin’ so I’ve gotta head on up to Earth. I’m sure he’s mad about me killing that smug little piece of shit that thought he could touch my girl.”

“Samantha Winchester will never love you again, Gabriella. I watched that love grow. I watched you break her heart. Then I saw the aftermath when you Lucifer forced you to tell everyone your secret. You don’t love her anymore. She won’t ever love you again.”

“She always has and will love me. She’s my lifemate.”

“Lifemates don’t make you love. Michelle and I weren’t in love. I didn’t even desire her until-”

“-you fucked her Vessel. Let me remind you that I know your little sad story. It’s nothing compared to the things I have been through with Sam.”

“The things you have _done_ to her.”

“I think it’s time you stop talking.” Gabriella hummed, flicking her wrist. Castiel arched against the cross she was bound to, letting out an agonized wail when both of her legs snapped in two.

Relishing in the scream, Gabriella hummed before flying to her brother’s side.

“Hey, Luce.” She beamed at him, swiping a bit of blood from her forehead. “How are you?”

“Do I want to know who you’re torturing this time?”

“One of our little sisters. But don’t worry. She isn’t one of Heaven’s brats. I promised to stay away and I am.” The look on his face told her he knew _exactly_ what she was talking about. It wasn’t like he hadn’t known about all of her secrets. Her victims, the people she hid and never told Sam about. People like Deanna and Brendiel, Castiel.

“I thought you destroyed her.”

“I almost did. Then I realized nothing was better than torturing Castiel while Deanna believed she was an illusion. All of those screams and pleas and Deanna never _once_ considered she might be the real deal. Amateur mistake, really. But what can you do when people think you’ve lost your mind?”

“I want you to bring back Will.”

Gabriella snorted, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, no. They knew better. Sam knew better. I even wrapped her up all nice and pretty for you despite the fact that I _really_ didn’t want to. Not my fault you decided not to touch her for three years.”

“ _Gabbie_.”

“No.”

“I want you to bring back Will. I want you to _release her_. Let her live her own life. If you love her, have _ever_ loved her. Loved me. You will give this to her. She doesn’t deserve to suffer under our hands. Not after everything she has been through because of us.”

“Luce, you’re my brother. I love you. I do. I helped destroy _everything_ for your dream and look where it got us.” The Mark was thrumming, basking in the lowly broiling anger that she easily ignored. Anger didn’t matter. Anger was just another piece. She didn’t want anger. She wanted her humans and she would get them. Once they died. Then she could sort things out-

“I will give myself to you.” Lucifer said lowly, holding her gaze.

Gabriella froze. Memories of insults, threats and bargains from lifetimes ago. Vows that she would never have him as long as they lived. That he was _Sam’s_.

But Gabriella knew damn well that anything Sam was capable of doing, Lucifer was as well. Including but not limited to throwing away his morals.

And she still remembered their date from a lifetime ago.

If Sam loved her, she knew damn well that Lucifer could too. And this was her chance.

“What is your deal, Luce?” The Mark thrummed irritably and she shoved back with her Spirit.

“Sam is free to pursue her life. Will comes back. You stop ignoring Sam’s prayers. None of these humans die under cause or effect from you. Direct or indirect.”

“Sam-”

“-is _not_ up for debate. You are going to let her live her _life_. If you love her. If you have _ever_ loved either of us, you’ll let her have that. You won’t torture her anymore.”

“And I’ll get you. I want your word, Luce. You won’t fuck me over.” Gabriella couldn’t help the ideas that danced across her mind. The idea that he was actually going to give himself to her. After everything. After all of these years…

“One other thing,” He held her gaze. “I want the Mark off of you.”

“No.”

“Give it to me, give it to _anyone else_. I don’t trust you while you have it. While The Dark is influencing your Spirit. You are _dangerous_ as long as she’s there.”

“I’m _dangerous_ either way, Luce.” Gabriella’s eyes flashed with her Spirit, “I _am_ dangerous.”

“You’re worse with The Mark. That thing goes, or I leave. This is your one chance to have me, Gabbie. I won’t _ever_ offer myself to you again.” 

He didn’t lie. One chance. All it would cost was…

_My life._

Without The Mark she was vulnerable. He could and very well would try to kill her. Unless she could make him love her and forgive her.

To do that, he had to trust her. To make him trust her… she had to risk everything. Her life. Her safety.

_No._

_Yes._

Two parts of her mind warred and her Spirit curled uncomfortably, twisting restlessly because it was just as conflicted as she was. Fearful, confused. The chances she actually survived it were almost nonexistent.

The Mark was pressing against her again. A violent pulse of _kill, kill, kill!_

“No. _No._ ”

“Gabriella…”

“Yes.” She shook her head, dragging her fingers through her hair. Biting her cheek hard enough it drew blood. “For you… yes. I will- I will do it. No weapons, though… no weapons.” She closed her eyes. “I know what to do. How to… I will be back. I’m going- then I’ll bring him back and I’ll do it. Yes. I’ll try. I will.” She blinked, eyes flashing before she took flight.

_No. Kill him. Kill him! He is wrong. You need me, little Voice._

“I don’t need you. I took you on because I didn’t want to die. Because I was _afraid_.”

_You’re still scared._

“I’m terrified. But fear has never stopped me from helping him. Never.”

Gabriella threw open the cell door, Castiel’s eyes widening when she saw her enter.

_Fear always stops you._

“I’m _not_ a coward.”

“You’re speaking to yourself.”

“I’m- it doesn’t matter. You’re being moved.”

“Where?”

“You don’t get to ask questions.”

_I made you what you are now. Without me you’ll fall apart. You’ll lose your mind again._

“You never impacted me.”

_You naïve little fool._

She pushed the energy of The Dark back, shaking her head and trying to gather her thoughts. Snapping her fingers, Castiel’s Vessel was healed and she collapsed to the ground. _Free_.

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s not your job to understand.” She rolled her shoulders, watching as The Mark slipped around her shoulder before resting against the inside of her wrist.

_Don’t._

“It’s your job to take this. You are going to weaken your Spirit and become human.”

“I am?”

“Yes. Because if you don’t, I’ll force you to do it. When I did it to Luce, he screamed. And I love him. What do you think it would be like for you?”

“Why would you do that to me? Why would you release me?”

“My prize for it all. This Mark can’t be carried by an angel and it can’t be transferred unwillingly.”

_This will never work._

“You require my permission.”

“Or I can give it to Deanna. If I tell her it’ll make her strong enough to bring you back, she’ll do it in a heartbeat. Your call, Cass. And you have… we’ll say twenty seconds.”

“Fine.” It took Castiel eight seconds to answer before she carefully pushed herself to her feet, wobbling.

The effort of her deliberately weakening her own Spirit had her back on her knees in eight seconds but it also left her human. Gabriella regretted having cut her wings off once upon a time, longing for the opportunity to do it now.

_You should have ripped her Spirit in half._

“Give me your arm.” Castiel gave her a tired look before rising to her feet. In a single motion, they interlocked forearms and The Mark began to glow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings
> 
> unhealthy relationships  
> references to abuse  
> references to forced relationships  
> mentions of more of the Gabbie/Lucifer junk

Sam wouldn’t ever forget the day Will came back. She couldn’t. Not when she’d come face to face with Gabriella for the first time in years.

“You’re free, Sam.”

“I’m sorry?” They were in the garage and she was alone, instinctively taking a step back.

_Killed me. She killed me._

“Do whatever- whoever you want. I’m sorry. I was… volatile.”

“Volatile?” Sam laughed, harsh and almost hysterical. “Are you _kidding_ me?! You-”

“I’m not staying for long. I promised I’d do this and I can’t lie to him. I won’t. But I had to come tell you. I love you, but I… I haven’t acted like that. I’ve treated you like shit. I know I have. I’m sorry, Sam. I know you don’t believe me but I _am_. I’m so God damned sorry. I have someone else for you. But be careful because when she dies, she won’t die. And… Luce, well… he’s mine. He’s never coming back here.”

“What are you talking about?” Luce was hers? What had he done? _Shit_.

“Don’t jump into thinking the worst. He doesn’t belong here. I mean- Mother, help me. I _wish_. I’ve never stopped wanting him. But it’s just a relationship and I know he doesn’t return those feelings but I want to believe that he does. I have to. He’s going to help me take care of Hell. You know he doesn’t belong on Earth.”

“Gabb- Loki… please don’t take him.”

“Not up for debate, Sammy. I’m sorry. I need him if I don’t have you and I’m done bargaining. It’s done. This is my final deal. I just wanted you to know, I love you. I’m sorry. So damned sorry. When I took that Mark… I was so damned sure I was strong enough to keep it together. And I guess I was sort of right. It did help but not for the better. I became… I became a monster. I am a monster. But this is the best I can do. The only good I can do in this- all of this. I won’t hurt him. I won’t ever hurt him. And I won’t ever hurt you again. I’ll come… whenever you call. If you ever call. But no more favors. No more bargains.”

There was something changed in her demeanor. Her posture completely different than it had been the last time she saw her.

 _No wings_.

That was the big beacon that she’d missed when the Archangel showed up. _Goddess_.

The big change. Because Loki hadn’t consistently worn her wings until recently. They were a part of her, but never a defining asset. Loki only wore them when she was displaying power, showing off, or during sex. Never in casual conversation and never as a display of threat. Not towards her.

 _Is it The Mark or is it something else? No- Sam,_ no _. Loki, Gabriella, it doesn’t matter. She killed you. She treated you like a possession. She tortured your sister for_ years _and committed enough genocide that the world started dying. You can’t fall into that trap or she’ll break your heart again. You aren’t stupid._

That was the dominant part of her brain. The voice of reason, she knew. But some other part wanted to believe that she could have her back. Have her Loki. That part was much quieter. Much simpler.

A soft, _You’re life mates. It’s just The Mark. She would never intentionally hurt you._

“I can’t do this again. You need to leave.” Amber eyes met hers, hurt. “Go.”

“I’m sorry, Sam.” Her eyes closed, raising her hand and snapping her fingers. She disappeared, replaced with a dazed Castiel staring off into the distance on the floor.

“Cass?” Her eyes widened and she dropped down, the angel’s eyes flicking up to stare at her.

“S… Sam?” Her hand grabbed wildly, wrapping around her forearm. “Where- where is Deanna?”

“I’ll get her,” Sam started to move and Castiel’s grip tightened, head shaking from side to side rapidly.

“Don’t. Don’t- don’t leave me. Don’t…”

“Hey, Cass. I’m not gonna leave you. Look at me.” Castiel shivered, tucking her head in to press her forehead against Sam’s arm. “Did she…”

“She took me… after Michelle she took me and Lucifer told her to kill me but she didn’t. Gabriella tore me apart in every way that she could. Did it in front of your sister. But- don’t tell her. Don’t make her know that. She always thought I was an illusion and she must not know. I just need a moment.”

“I’ve got you, Cass.” Sam helped the angel arrange herself so she was half pressed against her side, the angel hiding her face to the best of her ability. Shaking violently as she began to cry.

It didn’t pass her notice when she saw the dark shape on the inside of the other woman’s arm. Certainly, undoubtedly, The Mark. Loki had passed it onto Castiel.

_When she dies, she won’t stay dead._

Loki had given up her immortality. Handed it over to _Castiel_. Lucifer had done it. Exactly what Sam told him he could do. He’d gotten her to get rid of that damned thing.

_It did change her. I was right._

“Hey, Sam. Are you- holy shit! Cass?!” Cass stiffened and Sam lifted her gaze to see Deanna rushing from the door to join them on the floor. “I thought- you were _dead_. I saw them kill you!”

“I was dead.” The first words were a lie and Sam didn’t dare correct them. Because Deanna _would_ blame herself. Even if she couldn’t have done a damn thing. Sam moved away when Deanna carefully removed the shaking angel from her arms to pull her against her chest. “Gabriella brought me back because she needed a host.”

“A host?”

“For this.” Castiel swallowed, leaning back to expose her wrist.

“What is that?”

“The Mark.” Sam answered, reaching out before pulling back. “Cain’s Mark. The lock to The Dark’s prison. That’s what she took to keep Luce from killing her. The thing that God put on Lucifer at The Dawn and what corrupted him. It’s a God damned corruption ring.”

“It only corrupts someone that’s unprepared-”

“There is no amount of preparation that could protect you from what that thing does, Cass.” Sam shook her head. She’d been so distracted by the Loki aspect- well, it made sense in some regards. In a normal situation, she could have pushed it on any poor Spirit and left it at that but this situation was different. This was a lacking human society and Lucifer had told her. It needed to be on something that could fight it or it would use them as an indirect Vessel.

Lucifer had once said he regretted not throwing Cain in The Cage. But that wasn’t an option. Not after Lucifer and Loki had destroyed it in the early days after they had won.

“I’m human now.”

“What- why the hell-”

“As an angel, I am dangerous. As a human, I will do less damage. Cain didn’t become a threat until he died. Gabriella had me weaken my Spirit so I was human.” She paused, looking between the both of them before twisting around to pull up the back of the t-shirt she was wearing. Exposing the ragged scars that reminded her a lot of Lucifer’s. Less clean cut than the ones that he had, though.

“Who cut them off?”

“I did it. I couldn’t bring myself to let her do it. This was… personal.” Something told her it wasn’t the truth. That she was keeping some major part of it to herself. Which meant that Loki had to have done it.

“She sliced Lucifer’s off,” Sam spoke up. “It nearly killed him. It’s probably for the best it wasn’t an archangel blade that did it.” Deanna shot her an annoyed look, Sam rolling her eyes in response.

“Where is Lucifer?” Castiel asked after a moment.

“Hell. With Loki. They won’t be back.”

“He’s gone?”

“Yeah, he’s gone. She’s gone. Lucifer made a deal with her. One she couldn’t refuse. They won’t be back.”

“And your… sex life?” Deanna made a face and Sam shrugged, averting her gaze.

“She says I’m safe to do whatever. The idea of actually trying after Will- yeah, I’m not doing that for a while.” Castiel met her gaze, curiosity in her eyes though she said nothing. “Cass, welcome to the human race.”

“I have to confess, I… do not know what has happened. Gabriella told me Lucifer was human now but I don’t quite understand why there is a human race to come back to. What happened to Lucifer’s plan?”

“The world started dying. Death and Life told him to fix the world or they would. You are staring at two of the last members of the human race.”

“Three.” Deanna corrected her, gesturing to her stomach.

“Three.” Sam laughed softly, shaking her head. “God, I can’t believe you’re pregnant.”

Cass frowned, shifting where she was pressed against Deanna. “I never expected to see you pregnant.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Deanna huffed, smiling slightly when Castiel reached out to press her palm against her stomach. “Hell, I’m not supposed to be able to _have_ kids. Now there’s one squirmin’ around in there kicking my bladder, making my life a living hell.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t love him or her.”

“Just because I love it, doesn’t mean I can’t complain about it.” Deanna countered, Sam snickering and pushing herself to her feet.

“Whatever. If you two are good to deal with each other, I’m going in to give Will a hug. Because I sort of owe him.”

“Wasn’t your fault.”

“Was absolutely my fault.” Sam countered, “But he’s alive so fuck it. If he’s up for forgiving me, I’ll let it go. There aren’t enough of us to afford to hold grudges.” She left them there, finding Will in the kitchen with Alex.

The two in a deep conversation while Alex worked on lunch, or dinner? It looked like fried chicken which was a strange choice for lunch food. But screw it. They were celebrating.

Clearing her throat to announce her presence, she stepped across the threshold, meeting the awkward gaze of Will from across the room. “Hey, Sam.”

“Hey, Will. How… are you feeling?”

“Alive.” He admitted with a shrug. “I mean, I don’t even remember dying- not really. I remember… her. I saw her eyes. Then I was in the TV room. And, Sam. We were drunk. Both of us. I knew the risk like everyone else and I did something dumb.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“It was worth it.”

“Bringing going out with a bang to a whole new level.” Alex finally said with a chuckle, Will’s face reddening and Sam rolling her eyes.

“Alright. So, it’s settled. No hard feelings?”

“None, Sam. I promise.”

She nodded and flicked her gaze to Alex. “You need any help with that?”

“I can always use an extra hand. Or Four. Get over here. Tell me whether your not-girlfriend visited or not to give us a run-down on why my best friend’s alive and well.”

“Yeah, she’s visited.” Sam admitted as she began helping the two men with the food, recounting the less specific details of her entire encounter with Loki.

_Loki._

When she climbed into bed that night, Will was brave enough to ask her for another night where they were both sober and she was cautious but willing enough to try.

When they woke up the next morning together, both alive, she couldn’t help but cry.

.-~*~-.

“How are you feeling?” She squeezed her eyes shut, trying really hard not to break the egg in her hand.

And failing. Huffing in frustration, she flicked her wrist to discard the eggy residue, one of the chickens -the one Danielle had named Molly- giving her a strange look before wandering off.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you… it’s been a while and- Luce has been helping me. He’s been working with me…” Sam turned to face the shorter woman, brushing her knees off while she stood up. “Loki.”

“What?”

“He’s called me Loki, Sam. I… it scares the fuck out of me. I don’t know what he wants and I want to believe he won’t stab me in the back but he killed me. I tried to kill him. There’s no trust and the fact that he’s calling me Loki- accepting me as who I was before… it’s terrifying because lasttimehecalledmethat-” She broke off into a fit of tears and Sam couldn’t restrain herself when she wrapped her arms around the smaller woman, pulling her against her chest. “He scares me so much, Sammy. I love him but he terrifies me… so much.”

“It’s okay, Lo.” Sam pressed her face against the Archangel’s head, breathing in her familiar scent with tears threatening the corners of her eyes. No. She was angry. She would _not_ cry.

“And he’s human. Just a human. He shouldn’t- there’s no reason for him to scare me… but we’re Archangels and he knows every trick. I can’t stop watching him but I need to trust him or it’s all for nothing. I’ve given everything for nothing in return.”

“Loki, look at me.” She pried the other woman away, dragging her so they were nose to nose. “If he was planning to kill you, he would have tried already. You know it just as well as I do. He never wanted you dead and he may not be _in love_ with you but he does love you. He forgave you for things he didn’t need to. Raphiel and everything else you did.”

“I made him human- the thing he hates most…”

Sam kissed her. Just to get her to shut up. Because she couldn’t handle the blame game right now. It wasn’t going anywhere. It didn’t help anyone.

And Loki? She melted against her, dragging sharp nails under her shirt, cutting against the rough skin of her back while pressing closer to her. Hands slipping around to grope her beneath her shirt.

Shivering, Sam pulled away. Panting. Face falling against the other woman’s shoulder.

“I can’t-”

Loki didn’t let her deter things, hands exploring and tugging insistently at her clothes until she gave in.

Sam had never been so grateful that the damned barn had sturdy walls. Loki was everywhere, touching her in all the ways that the Archangel knew stopped her from thinking. Taking her apart to put her back together again.

When it was done she had a lapful of Archangel, the two breathing heavily, Sam’s face red because anyone could’ve walked in.

_Just like our first time._

“Don’t talk. If you do- I’ll kill you.” Loki murmured against her neck, nuzzling her face against the skin there.

“We can’t do this again.”

“Whenever we want. There’s no reason for no. No commitments. You don’t love any of these people.”

“I can’t just forgive you for the things you did. I _won’t._ Cass, Deanna, me and Luce. I _can’t._ ” She knew her words were countered by her actions because she couldn’t keep her hands to herself, fingers brushing skin that was littered with marks.

_Mine._

“I don’t have anyone else to touch me, Sam. To hold me. To tell me it’s okay. I need you.”

That wasn’t fair. It wasn’t her fault. Lucifer had slaughtered the Pagans. Loki had slaughtered the Spirits.

She wasn’t a sex toy.

“Need and want aren’t the same, Loki. I’m not a plaything.”

“Not- Sam, I could go the rest of my existence without sex. I just want you to hold me. To tell me you still love me.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then lie to me.” Loki whispered against her neck. “Let me dream. Give me that much.”

“Come here,” Sam touched her face, pulled her up so their lips could brush. “I love you, Lo. If I didn’t, I would’ve banished you. But I can’t be with you while I’m alive. It isn’t fair to the rest of them. We’re trying to build a new world but to do that they need my help. If I’m thinking of you… I can’t.”

“Promise me your Spirit.”

“What do you mean?” Sam knew what she meant and her stomach lurched at the thought of giving up her eternity to Loki. After everything…

“Let me take your Spirit with me when you die. Deanna’s too. I told Heaven I wanted them but I’ll let them go if you ask. I’m trying to fix things but my head just- I’ll take you there if you tell me to. I promise. But let me have you at first. Please.”

Sam squeezed her eyes shut, chewing on her cheek. It was a bad idea. Such a bad idea. She knew better. But it was so _tempting._ Having Loki back. Having _Lucifer_ back.

“Just mine.” Sam surrendered far too easily, “Not Deanna’s. But you can take mine. But swear on your love for Lucifer that you’ll let me go when I want to go to Heaven.”

“I swear.” Loki perked up, eyes brightening. She kissed her again, long and deep, fingers dipping lower.

“Lo-”

“Shut up.” That was her line, but she did as told. Especially since she didn’t want anyone to come investigate.

When Loki left, she managed to get into her clothes, counting her blessings she had actually grown out her hair again to cover the possessive marks she knew were all over her neck and shoulders.

“She’s cute.” Sam froze, eyes flicking up to see a smirking Alex in the barn entrance. “Trickster Archangel.”

“How long…”

“I heard you the first time. I’m not really a voyeur but knowing what I know I figured I might want to stick around if things went south.”

Sam averted her gaze, staring at the forgotten basket of chicken eggs near the hen houses.

“You gave her your Spirit.”

“Sort of the base of our relationship. I give her my heart and Spirit and she fucks me over. Breaks my heart. Then I forgive her because love makes you stupid.”

“And so it ended. The world ended, not for love. But because of it.”

Sam frowned, looking at Alex again. “Is that a quote?”

“Sort of. I was a writer. I was working on an apocalypse story before an angel asked to possess me.”

“You do realize the irony, right?”

“Absolutely. Do you want help with the cattle?”

“I can handle them. But could you get the rest of the eggs? If I have to think too much on the fact I had sex here I may puke.”

“If it makes you feel better, Iowa did his scrubdown of the floor this morning.”

“Not really, no.” Sam laughed softly, shaking her head. “First time me and her- it was an alley. I thought she was human and it was the first time I’d ever had sex in public. Everything with her was a risk. It was complicated and confusing. God… the things we did together.”

“Deanna talks about her like she’s the worst scum to walk the planet.”

“That’s because the things Lo did to her- I’m the shittiest sister in the world for forgiving her for it. Deanna has every right in the world to hate my guts. I wouldn’t blame her if she never spoke to me or looked at me again. And the way she feels about Loki is completely justifiable. Hell, it’s how I should feel. But I’m an idiot and I’ll never abandon her.”

“Love makes you stupid.”

“Thanks, Al.”

“It’s not a bad thing. I’m head over heels for Will.”

“Wait, you’re bi?”

Alex chuckled, shaking his head. “Not at all. I’m gay, Sam. Why do you think I’ve only ever fucked any of you while drunk? I’m not into it. But I’m an adult. I know what the world needs. And I’m willing to try my hardest to get the job done.” He winked at her, Sam staring back in response. Unable to help it. Was he serious?

“I’m sorry I never asked.”

“Sam, if there’s one thing you don’t need to be sorry for, it’s not asking about my sexual preferences. None of us have room to judge each other, no matter what our new friends seem to think.”

Sam snorted, thinking of the others. “Iowa is alright.”

“Iowa is nuts. But he’s awesome so I let it slide. Sam, whatever it is between your sister and you and Gabriella or Loki or whatever, if it was going to irreversibly damage things, it would have. Be grateful for that. Those are the kind of strong bonds that save lives.”

_Or destroy the world._

“And don’t go thinking about what happened after you said yes. Lucifer told us _why_ he was human. She saved you. _Those_ are the bonds that help. Think about that side of the story rather than dwelling on the other part. We’re here because of what she did.”

“I don’t think being involved in the genocide of the human race can be redeemed, Alex. I know you’re trying to make me feel better but the fact of the matter is, she didn’t save humanity. She saved me. And neither of them tried to help humanity for humanity’s sake. They did it because if they hadn’t, the world would’ve died. Those are the kind of people I love. Monsters. And that’s why when I think about what I did, I don’t feel regret. I feel… tired. I think about what Deanna must think of me. How disappointed she is and I know she’s right. But I don’t regret what I did. Not really.”

“Maybe it was what the world needed. Who knows? You’re trying to get a rise out of me but you know damn well I don’t judge _anyone_ for their past actions. You contribute. You help. You’re working just like the rest of us for a new world.”

Sam didn’t answer, averting her gaze.

“You may have screwed up in the past, but you are doing good for the future. Tell me how that makes you a bad person?”

Alex left her there then. Giving her time and space to think about that.

Maybe he was right.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I completely forgot to post this yesterday. I apologize! Time for the ending to one of the shorter long fics on my account.

It felt like a lifetime later when Sam found her end. It was so damned stupid, too. A fluke in reality. Her and Idaho had been hunting a deer because Alex wanted to cook venison. Because he liked ‘delicacies’ sometimes.

Neither of them had considered for a second that there was anything out of the norm. They had generally avoided the big nasty animals and the horses were usually good about warning them ahead of time. But they’d been on foot for a good chunk of time and the horses were a good distance back.

The bear had caught them both off guard. There hadn’t been a lot of time to react and she was distracted, thinking of getting back home. Seeing her kids. Jess had major attachment issues and never handled being without his mom for very long and Alannah was only a year old.

The grizzly took them both down, coming from a tree above them.

Because who looked _up_ when they were hunting deer?

She didn’t even really remember dying. Not really. But she remembered crying, kneeling over her body. Sobbing brokenly. Because her _children_.

 _Fuck_.

“Sam.”

“No. Loki, _bring me back_.”

“I’ll take you to say goodbye, Sam. But that’s it. I’m not bringing you back. I won’t do that.”

“My kids-”

“-will be loved and cared for.” Sam flinched away when arms wrapped around her, a head resting on her shoulder. Tears threatened to fall.

“Please, Lo.”

“I’m sorry, Sammy. So sorry.” Wings snuck into view for a moment then they were flying.

Soaring.

She was held tight against the other woman’s chest, ground a blur beneath them as they darted over the landscape only to land in the bathroom where Deanna was getting dressed after a shower.

“Gabriella- what are you doing here? Sam’s gone-”

“We’re here for you, Deanna. My condolences.”

“No.” Deanna’s face paled when Sam was released. The feeling of leaving the astral plane as a ghost was disorienting but it worked. Deanna shaking her head violently.

“No. Gabriella you fucking _owe_ us. Bring her back! Now!”

“I’m too selfish to do that. Call me every name in the book. I don’t give a damn. You have five minutes to get your affairs in order.”

Then they were alone, Deanna stared at her before dropping the bundle of dirty clothes she’d been holding and crossing the remaining space to reach out and touch her face.

“What happened?”

“A bear.” When Deanna’s hand was able to touch her face her sister discarded any remaining reservations to drag her into a hug. It was different, lacking substance, but she was solid enough they could touch physically.

“And Idaho- is he…”

“Yeah.” Sam admitted, squeezing her sister tight. “Got us both. I’ll ask Lo but I don’t think she’s up for granting favors and I’m out of bargaining chips. De… you’ve gotta take care of them.” Sam pulled away, eyes burning with tears.

_Fuck._

“You know they’ll be saved.”

“Don’t tell them.”

“What?”

“Don’t tell them who I am. Let them believe in rainbows and butterflies. Unicorns or what the fuck ever. But don’t tell them who I am. Tell them their momma was a hero. Not the woman that helped end the world.”

“You don’t want that. You don’t want them to grow up to a lie.”

“You sure about that? You’re telling me finding out that Dad was raised a Hunter didn’t screw you up more than you already were? Ignorance is bliss and what I am- they don’t deserve that burden.”

“You didn’t do those things.”

“No, but I let it happen. Happily. As long as I didn’t see it, it wasn’t my problem.”

“And what about when they do find out? You know the others don’t want to keep the new world’s origin a lie.”

Sam shut her eyes. She was right. Sam knew she was right. But still… “I don’t know what to do. But… fuck, I’m sorry. You don’t need this. You’ve got Mary and you and Will are talking about-”

“Stop it. We’ll handle them, Sammy. I raised you, I can raise your kids. I just need to know. Is she taking you?”

“Yeah… but it’s my choice. I’m sorry, Deanna. I know you hate her but… I’ve been through a lot with them.”

“Will I ever see you again?”

“I’m not sure. She said if I want to go to Heaven she’ll let me go but…”

“But she’s batshit insane?”

“No. I don’t know if I’ll _want_ to. I’m sorry, but I chose this.”

“I want to hate you for it, y’know. But I don’t. Just- fuck, don’t let her destroy you. I’ve seen the way you look at each other and you’re all-” She gestured inarticulately. “You kinda go all out. Cass did it with Michelle. I don’t have a clue what all that feels like but you all get stupid when you’re with the other. And if you’re head over heels… well, fuck it. I hope you guys have a happily ever after or whatever. Just try to keep whatever you’ve got left of yourself.”

“Probably not as much as you think.”

“I see a lot more than you’d like to think, Sammy. I know damn well you aren’t who you were back when we fucked the planet over. But you’re still at least human enough to _not_ ditch humanity for her. So keep that, will ya? Since you’re basically dating the new world’s God.”

“I’ll try.” Sam laughed a bit, shaking her head. “Lo, I’m ready.” A moment later she appeared between them, arms crossed over her chest, eyes downcast.

“Gabriella.”

“One of my names, yes.” The woman confirmed, flicking her gaze up to Deanna.

“If you hurt her again, I’ll find a way to kill you. Got it?”

“Aw, I’m gettin’ the big sister speech. That’s so cute.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know you are. I’m not going to hurt your sister again. I don’t want that. I can’t do that. I’m- stable… kind of. Maybe. It’s been longer for us. He’s been helping me… probably because he fears for his own existence but I guess that summarizes most of my relationships now.”

“I’m not scared of you, Lo.”

“Of course you are, Sam. It’s just buried under the constant desperate pushing and pulling of our Spirits because it’s been a few hundred years since I was near you. I’m sure you’ll hate me again in no time for your sister.”

“I’ve never hated you.” Sam shook her head, reaching out to grab Loki’s wrist. “Even after Mystery Spot and the other shit you pulled. And it’s not our damned Spirits telling me to be a dumbass. That’s me. Me being an idiot for love.”

“Ugh. You are disgusting people. Sam, visit me in Heaven. Gabriella, keep your fucking hands off my Spirit.”

“You sure about that, Deanna? Cass will be a demon when she dies. Means she’ll end up in Hell.”

“But no one else will. I love Cass, I do. But I’m not Sam. I can’t watch someone I love turn into a monster.” _Not again._ “It- it’d ruin me.”

“Offer remains. Heaven and Hell are my sandboxes, with or without The Mark. I’m the strongest thing on Earth. Change your mind, let me know.”

Then they were flying again, Loki grabbing her to drag her against her chest.

Heading into Hell wasn’t unfamiliar, it was a slow dive then a sharp turn to the right straight through the crust of the Earth. Then they were on the first layer. Loki didn’t waste time in diving off, Spirit folding protectively around her to guard her from the dark thoughts Hell’s void tried to draw out. The insistent press of doubts and reservations pushed away by the warmth of _Loki_.

She was so fucked.

When they touched down at the final layer, the other woman set her down carefully. Lucifer was in the room, lounged out on an old couch with a wide grin on his face. “Sammy.”

“Hey, Luce.” Frowning, she stared at him for a long moment. “You’re dead.”

“Yeah, well… what can I say? I tried to kill her. I kind of earned it.”

“Nice to know the both of you have been living healthy lives down here.”

“We’ve been living. Or dead? Only have tried to kill each other a few times.” Loki hummed, folding arms around her shoulders and pressing her cheek against the top of her shoulder. “And now you’re here. With us. Ours. And I don’t mean it in the way I did at the start- I’m trying.”

“It’s okay,” She turned around slowly, wrapping her arms around Loki’s waist and pressing their foreheads together so they were eye-to-eye. “We have all the time in the world to try to fix things.”

“No love for me? It’s been a lot longer for us.” The pout was audible in Lucifer’s tone and she snorted, shaking her head.

“I should kill you, Luce.”

“Should.” He was closer but she didn’t turn around. Didn’t look at the approaching once-archangel. “All of us should have problems with each other. But what kind of world would that be for any of us? Hell is pretty empty, Sammy and we’ve got a few lifetimes ahead of us before this place is chock full of Spirits to distract us from each other.” She breathed sharply as another set of arms wrapped around her waist, an all-too-familiar body pressing against her back. “I missed you.”

“Since when are you both willing to touch me at the same time?” She closed her eyes, unable to decide whether to lean forward or back. Which contact she wanted more.

“Since I decided fuck reservations. And you decided to ignore me.”

“Maybe I’ll ignore you more.” She hummed, relaxing into the kiss when Loki pulled her down so their mouths could touch. It was tender and welcoming. Intimate in a new kind of way. “Luce…” A mouth was on her neck and she groaned, pressing back against him. “Fuck. You’re going to kill me.”

“Hell of a way to go,” He chuckled, nuzzling her neck. Kissing the skin. “Good thing we’re already dead, though.” She made a broken sound when he turned her head, pulling them mouths together before she lost herself in them both.

.-~*~-.

It was about thirty years Earth time when Deanna died. Bad case of pneumonia that got worse before it got better. Sam was waiting for her.

Because of course she was.

Loki had been bitter about it on principle alone. If she really hadn’t wanted her to visit her sister, she wouldn’t have mentioned the death to begin with.

The most difficult part of going to Heaven to visit her sister was dealing with the angels. They weren’t happy to see Loki. At all.

“Out.”

“That’s sweet, kiddies. Really. But my wings run white now. Means I’m not Fallen anymore. I’m sure if Luce had his wings, they’d be bright as a fresh piece of snow. I’m the oldest Archangel, kids. I define you. So let us through to see my in-law or I’ll finish what I started when Luce ran hell.” Her wings were white again. It had been a progressive change ever since she died, black slowly melting into a smooth grey that eventually became a bright white again. Lucifer suspected that it had to do with Loki’s mental state, no longer the madwoman she had been after he made her discard her identity of Loki. Not the same person she had been before either, though.

“You married that-“

“Finish that. Please, Ariah. I _dare_ you.”

Ariah shut up, wings curling against her back. “Congratulations on your marriage to your lifemate. I wish you the _best_ of happiness.”

“Thanks, sis. Now where’s Deanna?”

“Not here yet. The reapers like prolonging the deaths as long as they can since they don’t have a lot to do. Her Heaven will be next to Idaho Warren’s. But you know this.”

“Yep. I’m just fucking with you. Come on, babe.” Loki tucked her under her wing and began leading her down the chaos that was Heaven, walking across landscapes and unfamiliar territories before finally arriving outside the Bunker, the Impala parked on the dirt out front.

“Holy shit.” Sam stepped forward, reaching out to touch the cool metal. “Deanna gets her Baby back.”

“Her Baby and her actual babies will be able to come here.”

“What about mine?”

“They’ll have whatever they want. The world is their oyster.” Sam wanted to say 'except me'. But it was unfair and she knew it. She’d died and it wasn’t anyone’s fault but her own.

Being in Heaven, though… it brought things into a different light. Because Hell was empty and if they were lucky, that was how it would stay for a while. There were no damnable offenses aside from the basics.

But Hell being empty left her alone with Lucifer and Loki. A lot. And it wasn’t like they could just go and enjoy the pleasantries of Earth. Spirits weren’t allowed topside unless they were being resurrected and Loki had made her stance clear.

Sam and Lucifer were hers.

It had been years now and Hell was finite. It could be boring and Lucifer and Loki were both fairly okay with it but she wasn’t. Humans weren’t meant to be isolated like that and there was nothing in hell to distract her though Loki had been finagling with creating new hellhounds out of dog Spirits.

It wasn’t enough. But Heaven had occupants.

“Sam.”

“What would you do if I chose Heaven?”

“Sam-“

“What would you do?”

“I would let you stay. Because I promised. But… don’t do that to me. Please, Sam. Don’t… don’t leave me.”

She moved away, climbing up on the hood of the Impala and chewing on her cheek. “You can come here.”

“Luce can’t. He’s damned. I don’t belong in Heaven either. And yeah, you do. You’re the brightest Spirit in all of existence but… if you’re here, it’ll just be me and him down there. I don’t want that. I want you. Both of you. Don’t… please don’t leave me.”

“It’s Hell, Lo. _Hell_. I’m not… I don’t want to be there. Even if it’s not Hell it’s… it’s lonely. Heaven isn’t that. And it’s where everyone else will go. Where they’ll be.”

“You have us.” Loki’s eyes flicked down, lids sliding shut. “I know- for a human an eternity is something else. It’s a lot to take in. But we can work. We’re able to work.”

“But what kind of life is that? You can come topside whenever. You can visit the Earth. Lucifer _hates_ it there and don’t pretend like you don’t know that. It’s _Hell_. Nobody likes it there. If I’m damned, then I’ll go back. But if I’m not. If I can have _this_ … why shouldn’t I?”

“Because you didn’t want it. You chose us.”

“I chose love. I chose _selfishly_. If I stay in Hell, I’ll grow to resent you. Both of you. Because it’s misery. Time drags on. It’ll be _hundreds_ of years before there’s more Spirits down there. I could spend an eternity with Lucifer in my skin but having you both like that is… I love you. But it’s exhausting.”

“I’m sorry, Sam.”

“An apology won’t resolve things. You need to let me go. At least for a while. Let me be around people again. I need this.”

“I’ll fix Hell time.”

“Then fix it. But I’m staying.” Carefully, she pushed off the hood and crossed the space between them, hooking her finger under the Archangel’s jaw to tilt her head up. “Look at me.”

“I can’t.” Sam kissed her forehead, the tears pooling under her eyes. “You can’t do this. You _can’t_.”

“It won’t be permanent. You can come back to me.”

“You’re leaving us.”

“Just for-“

“You _swore_ , Sam. You promised us an eternity.” Golden eyes flew open and she took a step back, wings folding out. “You’re leaving me.”

“Don’t do this, Lo-“

“You swore.” Sam recognized the signs. The sudden flip like a switch being turned in her brain. A dramatic shift from okay to furious.

She took a step back.

“Gabriella.” She nearly jumped. Deanna’s voice sudden in their surroundings. How long had she been there? “She isn’t leaving your sorry ass. She’s just coming home for the holidays. Get over yourself and let her stick around.”

“This doesn’t concern you, Deanna.”

“It really _does_ though. If you put a hand on my sister, I’ll kill you. If you think I won’t, that I _can’t_ , you really weren’t paying attention all those fucking years you tortured me. Let. It. Go.”

Loki’s head jerked towards Deanna, bright and wide wings flaring behind her. Then she folded in on herself and was gone.

What had Deanna meant?

“It’s a long-ass story, Sam.” Deanna answered the unspoken question when Sam turned her attention to the other woman, stomach churning with dread. Like her sister might evaporate in front of her, completely and surely _gone_. “I take it paradise isn’t great?”

“It’s been… rough recently. There’s not a lot to do down there.” Sam admitted, “Lo told me it was pneumonia.”

“Yeah well… I got caught out in a blizzard. Freak Midwestern weather. The cabin got buried and I didn’t have firewood. By the time Jessie got out there with Al I was beyond saving.”

“Jessie?”

“Um-“ Deanna bit her lip, “Yeah, your daughter’s kinda your son. Did Gabriella tell you she made humans able to flip their sexes? ‘cause let me tell you. It was confusing as fuck when I went to give that bath. Apparently Alex had noticed some of the altering but not considered what it was.”

She’d actually _done_ that? Sam vaguely remembered Loki making a comment about it when she’d made Alex a binary male but she’d assumed it was just a joke. An offhand comment made in a tense situation. She’d never considered it was _serious_.

“Alex loved that one, didn’t he?”

“He was jealous, yeah. But he told me he sent up a prayer to your girlfriend about it. Guess she’s not a completely shitty God.”

“She’s just a really exhausting wife. Her and Luce… they are like two sides of the spectrum. I could handle it before but now that he’s _human_. There’s a lot of resentment there. She sort of cemented the fact that there is something he won’t forgive her for.”

“After all the shit you all did, being human’s the best price he could’ve paid. It’s poetic as hell and you know damn well that’s why your girlf- sorry, _wife_ made that choice.”

“She did love her just desserts, didn’t she?” Sam closed her eyes for a moment, just remembering a world ago. Lifetimes ago.

“Let’s see it this way, Sam. No more monsters to hunt.”

Sam snorted, shaking her head. “Yeah, no more monsters. Just deer and fucking bears.”

“You weren’t hunting the bear. That bear was hunting you. Didn’t I teach you better?” Her sister elbowed her side and she laughed, shaking her head.

“I got rusty. I really want to know what sort of leverage you have over Lo.”

“In the car. I want to drive her. It’s been… thousands of years.” A bit of an understatement but she didn’t correct her, moving around the car to slide into the familiar passenger seat, breathing in the old scents because if there was one thing Heaven did well, it was drag back up old memories.

“You think we’ll see Bobbie?” Deanna asked, turning the key and laughing gleefully when the engine roared to life.

“I think we can see anyone we want to. Perks of being dead.” _If we pretend it’s real, it isn’t a bad thing to imagine. Mom, Dad, Bobbie. Just waiting for us here._

“I wanna see Bobbie.” Deanna confirmed, pressing the gas. “We can go to the salvage yard. See Bobbie. Maybe call Joe, see how he’s doing.” Sam wondered if Deanna was actually falling into that illusion. Believing that it was real. Or if it was just her playing along with the idea.

She didn’t want to know either way. Didn’t want to break the illusion. But she did want her answers.

“Yeah, we can do that. So, what’s the deal with Lo? What’s your weird secret leverage?”

“It’s the same bullshit that kept her from demonizing me. I was ‘blessed’ by Michelle. Kinda wrapped up by her Spirit. It made my Spirit stronger. Also gave me her damned Archangel blade to summon at will. I nearly killed Gabriella with it. She knows damn well I can and will kill her if given the chance.”

“But she still tortured you for… a long time.”

“Yeah, but she never let me use my hands again. Everything with her is a game so it’s all about figuring out your cards.”

“And the second you show your hand, you’re fucked. I know how it goes. I’ve been dating her almost as long as we’ve known her.”

“She showed me the Mark, y’know? I mean, I didn’t have a clue what it was but she showed it to me. I guess she wanted to tell someone but was scared to tell you and… him. So she showed me. And I didn’t really get it at first.”

“But then she changed.”

“When you’ve been tortured for- well, it’s hard to put a number on it. Hundreds of Earth years, I guess. It all sort of becomes white noise. But after she took… that thing. Something changed because I could feel it again. And I realized what it was doing to her. And when she stopped going topside, I realized what he’d done to you.”

“That’s more than I can say.” Sam admitted, closing her eyes. “I was asleep for around five hundred years and didn’t realize it. I should’ve but I just… didn’t. Possession is scary as all hell, y’know? I mean, even when it was him.”

“No- I get it. I mean…” She tightened her grip on the steering wheel. “When Michelle died I felt it. And it felt like she was going to drag me with her. She pushed me away- that’s why I lived… sort of. It’s why a reaper was able to get my Spirit.”

“Not that it did much good.”

“No. Not really. Why did you have him bring me back, Sam? You knew damn well I wouldn’t last long.”

“I wanted to give Earth a bit more time and- well, I think part of me hoped you’d find some other solution.”

“I was _alone_ , Sam. I mean Joe tried his best to help me through it but I was alone. Bobbie was dead, house a pile of ash. Demons wouldn’t deal. I didn’t have anything else I could do.” They were parked outside Bobbie’s now. When that had happened, she couldn’t really recall. But she did know she didn’t want to argue with Deanna. She’d been arguing for months now.

“I know and I’m sorry. Can we just… let’s go inside. You can grill some burgers or something. We can watch that damned show of yours, maybe help Bobbie with some cars.”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

A steady silence stretched across them then and they were outside the door before Deanna spoke again.

“I forgive you, y’know? For all of it. You did… what you had to. And so did I.”

“We never stood a chance, did we?”

“Not really, no.” Deanna admitted quietly, knocking on the door and waiting for the ghost of their past to open the door.

It should have bothered her. She should’ve regretted all of it. But she didn’t. Because it had brought them there. Sooner or later, Loki would come and Sam would give in and go with her. Because that was how they worked.

_And the cycle will continue. From now until forever. Maybe we destroyed the old world, but at least there’s a new one. And maybe… maybe Loki can be a good God for it. For whatever that’s worth._

Maybe it would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… ending this was weird. Endings are weird. Like Chuck said, Endings are hard. There’s never going to be a perfect way to wrap anything up but I was working with some… strange variants of the Supernatural characters. I feel obligated to mention I would’ve written this story identically whether it was genderswap or not. Though I guess at the end part here things would’ve gone differently since Sam would’ve been a father. But whatever. It’s a sort of premise thing here for me than anything. I wanted a series where Sam said yes and never came back from it. Because this version of Sam is not a good person. Not really. 
> 
> Lo was an entirely different aspect of it. Because she did take the Mark in this storyline. But I wasn’t sure what fallout it would have on her already dangerous personality until it happened. For all the good she believed it did, what it actually did was stabilize her volatile personality and bring out some of the worst parts of it.
> 
> Lucifer was another thing that I didn’t quite know how I would handle. He wasn’t supposed to become human and he also wasn’t supposed to spend a lot of time as a human. He was going to die but instead I decided he deserved a moment where he did a very Sam thing. 
> 
> Ah, Deanna and Castiel. My final bit to talk about. I never really actually elaborated what happened with Deanna after Sam killed her though I believe I hinted at it in the epilogue or one of the one-shots. For those that missed it, after Sam said yes, she convinced Lucifer to resurrect Deanna and let her finish her life. It wasn’t a particularly great life but it was a life. After she died and was dragged up to Heaven. Loki snatched her and used her as her own personal punching bag for the rest of existence. Cass had a similar fate because Gabriella knew she could never bring herself to kill either of them for Sam’s sake. Lucifer didn’t care enough to care because Sam was ignorant. He never bothered telling her. Ignorance was her bliss but she also never asked what happened to her sister when the Heaven Spirits were slaughtered so she is just as responsible for it as Lucifer and Loki. Same goes with Cass. They suffered because of a lack of acknowledgement from Sam’s side. 
> 
> Okay, I lied. One more thing to talk about. Rebooting the human race is not something I ever thought I’d do in any writing and I played super fast and loose with the details. But I should mention, due to the nature of the limited number of people to restart the human race, Gabriella tweaked a few things in their genetic codes. Because even when she was under the influence of the Mark, she genuinely didn’t want the world to die to some stupid fluke. So she made the new humans capable of changing their own sexes. Any descendant of the vessels that restarted humanity would have this ability unless genetics did that annoying thing they do and went wild.  
> That’s about it. Anyone that went through this sequel, I thank you for poking around. I hope you enjoyed it. Now I need to find something else to write!


End file.
